Male coworker, carrying apple and pear into break room: Who took my banana?
Ridge, New York
Male coworker, carrying apple and pear into break room: Who took my banana?
Ridge, New York
Coworker to another: Hey, man, if you want to call 'em ramparts, you call 'em ramparts.
Pasadena, California
Blonde coworker: And I was like “way to throw me under the rug!”
Brunette coworker: Umm… it's “under the bus.” “Way to throw me under the bus.”
Male coworker: Get it? It hurts. If you were thrown under a bus it would hurt.
Blonde coworker: Well, it would hurt if someone was walking on the rug and you was under it!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: jen
Worker #1: We grilled chicken hearts the other night.
Worker #2: Really? Like, how big are they?
Worker #1, gesturing: Not very. We have to make several skewers full because they are so little.
Worker #2: Do you even know how many chickens it takes to get one heart? Poor things!
Virginia
Male coworker #1: Megan* says she's going to Taco Bell for lunch and she hopes nobody is pissed.
Male coworker #2: Why would someone be pissed?
Male coworker #1: Cause she knows that you like some Taco Bell.
Male coworker #2: I do,but I certainly am not in the business of depriving people of Taco Bell.
Lynchburg, Virginia
Curious office worker: How was your poop?
Man who just finished pooping: It was a magnificent log. I could have paddled across the Atlantic on it.
Curious office worker: Just the Atlantic?
Man who just finished pooping: Yeah, I'm out of shape.
Curious office worker: Oh.
Aberdeen, Maryland
Coworker #1: Look at this guy, he's all dressed up today. What a fag!
Coworker #2: I was gonna wear jeans, but my dog jumped all over me this morning.
Coworker #1: You got a tie under there too? Jesus Christ, what a fag!
Bedford, Massachusetts
Office woman #1, listening to police scanner: Why are all those stupid people out in the rain?
Office woman #2: I understand that when it's time to leave work, you want to leave.
Office guy: I would rather drown than spend another hour here at work than I have to.
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: Underpaid
Cube dweller to another: If you want the full effects of the Smarties, you need to freebase them.
Pioneer Square
Seattle, Washington
Male coworker #1: I just couldn't take my eyes off her mound. It was so big and, well, unorganized.
Male coworker #2: Big mounds, seems to be the Monday thing around here. Seen one, seen 'em all.
Female coworker, passing through: Well boys, you must be talking about other people's paperwork again, since we all know you both haven't seen a real mound in the last decade.
Male coworker #2: We were actually talking about your mound. Organize that shit, will ya?
Female coworker, laughing: Never!
Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Michele
