Coworker #1: You don’t believe in the five-second rule?
Coworker #2, who dropped a chip and threw it away: I do, just not when people are watching…
Richardson, Texas
Coworker #1: You don’t believe in the five-second rule?
Coworker #2, who dropped a chip and threw it away: I do, just not when people are watching…
Richardson, Texas
Coworker: I’ve got more Vaseline than a porn star could use in a year.
330 North Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Yuppie #1: You coming out tomorrow night? Gonna be a shit show.
Yuppie #2: As long as I don’t wake up on random floors as I have the past two Thursdays!
5th Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker #1: What kind of creamer is that?
Coworker #2: It's Bailey's.
Coworker #1: You put Bailey's in your coffee at work?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I always put Bailey's in my coffee. It's not that strong or anything.
Coworker #1: Can I get some of that?
Des Plaines, Illinois
Guy on phone: Slim-Fast doesn’t work if you eat half a cake every night.
Stratford, Connecticut
Boss to coworker, as they leave office: All right, I'll meet the goddamn baby!
Los Angeles, California
Coworker #1: I brought these back from vacation. Would you like to try a chocolate-covered ant?
Coworker #2: No, thank you. I’m a vegetarian.
Coworker #1: But they’re dead!
Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Monkey in the Box Office
Staff Auditor: Hey [Senior Audtior], your wife is on the phone. Should we tell her the audit room smells too badly and you will call her back?
Senior Auditor: Yeah…
2345 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Smell E. Lotz
Female coworker: So, how was it?
Male coworker: Oh my god. We put the phone on mute and talked amongst ourselves. The other two people left the room, I don't know where they are.
Female coworker: Painful, right?
Male coworker: St. Patrick used that presentation to drive the snakes out of Ireland. He played it and after an hour the snakes had enough.
Female coworker: He's the worst. I have no idea how someone allows him to put his pistol in their holster.
Male coworker: I like that one. I would rather beat off with a cheese grater than listen to that again.
Manhattan, New York
Excited graduate assistant: Cadbury cream eggs are like the Jesus of Easter!
Faculty passerby: Wait, what?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
