Coworker #1: You know, it's a lot warmer in my office than the rest of the floor. Is the a/c on?
Coworker #2: Um, maybe it's because your window is open?
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: You know, it's a lot warmer in my office than the rest of the floor. Is the a/c on?
Coworker #2: Um, maybe it's because your window is open?
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: I pooped in my pants once. But I was in pre-k. I was lying down at naptime, and then all of a sudden, I felt it come out, and I started crying.
Coworker #2: I peed in my pants once. At work.
Broadway & Canal
New York City, New York
Overheard by: office peon
Dev #1: Why would we ever deny the faculty access to Moodle?
Dev #2: We might have always cut the ends off a ham because our mom taught us to.
Dev #1: …
1600 Clarkson Road
Chesterfield, Missouri
Implementation person: I usually don’t get pregnant from moving into a new apartment.
Operations person: But that’s the first step, though.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Coworker on cell: I just don't understand bro, what do you need a real human head for?
Baltimore, Maryland
Supermarket guy #1: Do you have a pen?
Supermarket guy #2: No.
Supermarket guy #1: Where do you live?
Supermarket guy #2: What for? So you can come over anytime and borrow my pen?
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Timm D
Office worker #1: It’s four o’clock! [Later] It’s four-thirty!
Office worker #2: Thanks, Big Ben.
Office worker #1: [Blank stare.]Office worker #2: You know what Big Ben is, right?
Office worker #1: Oh, yeah, that old TV show [raises arms and growls like a bear].
Highway 85
Madisonville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Chinese coworker: Where did my customer go? She was there a minute ago and now she’s disappeared.
White coworker: She probably went to the bathroom.
Chinese coworker: Maybe her baby was drowning in the bathroom and she had to go rescue it.
White coworker, after long pause: What the fuck is that, an old Chinese proverb?
50th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: cp
Summer worker #1: I think I smoke too much weed.
Summer worker #2: Yeah… But at least you won’t get glaucoma.
Summer worker #3: What’s glaucoma?
Summer worker #1: It’s an eye disease. Maybe you should smoke more so you don’t get it.
Summer worker #3: But what about lung cancer?
Summer worker #2: Look, would you rather see or breathe?!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Deli worker #1: You need to be thinking about what you want to do with your life.
Deli worker #2: I want to serve people meat. Is there anything wrong with that?
Shreveport, Louisiana
