Coworker, after boss made big volunteerism speech: I don’t want to do anything where there’s the possibility of seeing something gross.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: that’s the spirit
Coworker, after boss made big volunteerism speech: I don’t want to do anything where there’s the possibility of seeing something gross.
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: that’s the spirit
Meeting Attendee #1: When’s a good time to schedule the meeting with [Gary]?
Meeting Attendee #2: Well, he will be back from his heart attack next week.
2964 Peachtree Road NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Grunt, alone in cube: Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater… Fuckin’ bitch.
North Las Vegas, Nevada
Designer: The image is 144 by 216.
Writer: What the hell kind of dimensions are those?
Designer: 144 is 2 inches. Pretty standard. And–
Writer: Fine, but what is this 216 business?
Designer: Are you kidding me? Do some math. It’s three inches.
Writer: Oh. Well, how should I know? You know I’m not one to mess around with anything two or three inches.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Woman #1: I want a boy! How do I make a boy?
Woman #2: Like a baby?
Woman #1: Yeah, like a baby boy.
Woman #3: Well, my cousin did it! There's one way to get a girl, and another way to make a boy. I can ask him if you want.
Manhattan, New York
Clerk #1: You can’t do nuts?
Clerk #2: Nope, nuts don’t like me.
Clerk #1: Nuts don’t like me sometimes, too.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Db’s Mom
Coworker #1 watching pep rally pass by: Why aren’t any of the guy cheerleaders hot? The girls are all pretty — the guys should be hotter.
Coworker #2: It’s kind of like… What do you call it? … Porn.
328 W Lane Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: (Snort)
Female coworker: If I don’t get into law school, I’ll just get knocked-up and be a house wife. I call it ‘Plan B.’
910 Louisiana Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: I need a backup plan like that
Disembodied female voice: But there is cheese in China!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Anon Y. Mous
Female secretary #1: I was hoping to mow the lawn today, but I probably won't be able to because of the weather.
Female secretary #2: Yeah, it sounds like it's supposed to rain this afternoon.
Male clerk: Oh, I didn't think weather matters when it comes to mowing the lawn.
Female secretary #1: Sure it does. You get all the grass stuck on the blades, and it causes all sorts of problems.
Male clerk: No, I was referring to the other type of mowing the lawn.
Female secretary #1: Oh. Well, yeah. The weather doesn't really matter for that. And that's more of a daily thing, anyway.
Albany, New York
