Just Do What I Say, and Don’t Ask Questions

Office girl #1: So, when you mail something to Washington, DC, what’s the city and what’s the state?
Office girl #2: Put DC as the state.
Office girl #1: Does that mean Washington is the city?

Utah

Posted on October 14, 2015
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Questions, Utah

9AM TGIF

Co-worker #1: Would it be wrong if we left to get breakfast?
Co-worker #2: Why would it be wrong?
Co-worker #1: Well, it’s only 9 o’clock.
Co-worker #2: So?
Co-worker #1: I don’t know. It seems like maybe we should wait a little bit.
Co-worker #2: No way! I’ve been here since 8:30. I’ve worked enough.
Co-worker #1: All right. Let’s go, then.
Co-worker #2: Hold on. I just painted my nails. Takes forever to dry.

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on October 13, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, New York, Questions, Time Management

What Else Do You Guys Want on the Pizza?

Coworker on phone: Scabies. (pause) No… Scabies. (pause, then louder) Scabies! (louder) S-c-a-b-i-e-s!!
(everyone in office looks at him)
Coworker, looking at coworkers and shaking head: Sorry, everyone!

Manhattan, New York

Posted on October 13, 2015
Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, New York, On the phone, Sexuality, Words

Since It Turned Out They Were the Dog's Hearworm Pills

Cube dweller #1: How was your weekend?
Cube dweller #2: It was good! I went to the movies… Oh, and my mom said I could stop taking the medication she gave me.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on October 13, 2015
Cinema, Coworkers, Family, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Questions

Career Tip: People Get Tired Of the Office Funny Guy

Coworker: I've been so funny all day that it's not even funny.

Hawthorne, New York

Overheard by: evildead1971

Posted on October 12, 2015
Coworkers, Feelings, General Idiocy, Gripes, New York

Wouldn't You Also Need a Harness?

Older office lady to another: Oh, that's right, because they couldn't get the shaft to fit my hole…but if you got me the right cable, and put a little tension on it…yeah, I could probably do it upright.

Marquette Ave
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on October 11, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Minnesota, Sexuality, Weirdness

And I Have Seen Enough

Guy: Wow! Look at the legs on that chick! Those are some really short shorts! Look, Bill*!
Bill: Yeah, that’s my wife.

740 Fourth Street
Santa Rosa, California

Overheard by: Sandie

Posted on October 11, 2015
California, Coworkers, Possible Sexual Harassment, Relationships

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: I think the pills of my dreams would allow me to eat whatever I wanted and never get above a size 4.
Co-worker #2: Those already exist. They’re called laxatives.

147 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Jess