Co-worker #1: Hey, do you remember back in school when every school had the smelly kid? You know, he had no particular reason for smelling and no one could never place it but, nonetheless, he had a bad, stale smell to him?
Co-worker #2: Ha, ha. Yeah, I do. Why?
Co-worker #1: If this office was a school, you’d be the smelly kid and you need to do something about it.
270 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Matty K
Coworker #1: So how did your tennis match go last night?
Brad*: Um, I’d rather not talk about it.
Coworker #2: Nobody wins when Brad wears tennis shorts.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Office guy #1: Are you coming over tonight?
Office guy #2: Yeah, I'll be there.
Office guy #1: Okay, I'll pull it out and wipe it off.
Regina
Canadia
Overheard by: Vince
Director (without any trace of irony): So we're going to do a high five every time? That's a great idea!
Producer: Yeah–let's get you all in a circle for the high five.
Onscreen talent (forming a circle): Let's get merchandising! (group high five)
Westfield, New Jersey
Co-worker #1: Where’s [Kate]?
Co-worker #2: She’s off all week.
Co-worker #1: I’m off Wed through Fri. What are you off?
Co-worker #3: Her rocker.
7000 Cardinal Place
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Thenodrin
Worker #1: I don’t want to donate my organs when I die. Those doctors make too much profit off the surgeries.
Worker #2: Does your wife know this? Because I’m pretty sure your next-of-kin can override your decision.
Worker #1: Is that true? I would beat my wife in heaven if she donated my organs after I was dead.
111 South 34th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Female coworker to another: I thought I was having a miscarriage when you called last night. Or it might have been just bad tacos.
McAlen, Texas
Coworker on James Carville: I love Carville. I took a leak with him at a wedding.
Los Angeles, California
Eager peon: Did I tell you I had a dream about Whoopi? It’s so funny, because — and you’ll find this funny — it’s so weird, I promise you. I had this dream with Whoopi, I guess because she’s on The View now, and I had this the weekend before she was on The View, and I had this dream that it was just me and Whoopi and we were all alone–
Coworker, interrupting: –I had a dream about your mom.
Bank
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman #1: Maybe it fell out because her vagina had no…tone.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #3: Right, no Kegel’s.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Right, you are supposed to do Kegel’s all day.
Woman #2: Since when?
Woman #1: From when you are 20. Or have a lot of sex.
Woman #3: I’d rather have a lot of sex than do Kegel’s, but I do them, too.
Woman #2: What? My vagina is fine without either one. Don’t tell my husband that, either.
Woman #3: You’ll be sorry when you are older.
Woman #1: You never did Kegel’s? We used to have contests at my other job.
Only man in the meeting walks in.
Woman #2: Well! What do men have to do?
Woman #3, smiling sweetly: Nothing. Men are perfect.
Bergen County, New Jersey
