Engineer #1: I’m going to head back to where I’ve been working. Nobody knows where it is. I call it my happy place.
Engineer #2: Take a muffin!
Engineer #1: Nice! I just want half, though.
Engineer #2: Don’t take half! Take the whole thing. [To Engineer #3] Stick the rest of that muffin in your happy place.
Engineer #3: That’s disgusting.
The Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Nic
Guy #1: eHarmony. Maybe I should try that.
Guy #2: You’d have to know how to log on to a computer first.
190 N. Main Street
Roanoke, Indiana
Co-Worker #1: My sister just had her baby this morning!
Co-Worker #2: How exciting! Wait, who just had a baby last month?
Co-Worker #1: My sister.
Co-Worker #2: The same one?
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Designers talking about an ad: I’d throw a white girl in there, for shits and giggles.
Midtown
New York City, New York
Woman #1: Hey! Look at you! I didn’t know you were back from maternity leave.
Woman #2: Yeah, I just came back yesterday.
Woman #1: I saw the pictures you emailed. She’s adorable. I remember you were worried about labor. How’d it go?
Woman #2: Not too bad, actually. Kind of what I expected. Although I punched my husband and threatened divorce during the worst of it.
Woman #1: Are you serious? What did he do?
Woman #2: Right when my contractions were about two minutes apart, he got nervous and attempted to distract me. So he kept making that ooohbah, ooohbah noise that those robot things made in Revenge of the Sith.
Woman #1: Omigod! I know what you’re talking about. What a jerk! That’s so funny, though.
Woman #2: Yeah, I know. We laugh about it now. But at the time I punched him in the stomach and called him a bastard. I told him if he opened his mouth again even to cough, we were getting a divorce. Poor guy wouldn’t even talk to the nurses after that.
777 Eisenhower Parkway
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Woman pushing baby carriage: Bob*, I think it’s dead.
Bob: Nah, it just needs a charge.
530 West State Street
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Schmeckendeugler
Coworker #1: Are you bringing something tomorrow?
Coworker #2: Yeah, but I’m not sure what. Everyone is so hard to please.
Coworker #1: I know. I want to make that pasta dish I told you about, but it has a lot of vegetables. I have to find out who likes what, and what they don’t like. It’d be easier to kill everyone instead.
12300 Olive Boulevard
St. Louis, Missouri
Office girl: Is the company starting a cloning program? You two are exactly the same.
New girl #1: Yeah, I know…except that she had a baby, and I didn't.
New girl #2: Right, so the only way you can tell the difference between us is the size of our hoo-hoos.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Coworker #1: Sometimes when I walk by, I just stand here and watch you like you're in the zoo.
Coworker #2: My cage is open. I'm gonna freaking maul your ass.
Kirkland, Washington
