Customer, in clown makeup on Halloween: I'm so drunk right now I don't even care about my big, green twat lips.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: intrigued
Customer, in clown makeup on Halloween: I'm so drunk right now I don't even care about my big, green twat lips.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: intrigued
Case worker: My husband was laying around like a little faggot last night.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
Peon on the phone: My brother in-law’s sister is coming over tonight, I think I’m gonna nail her. [Pauses.] Why not? He nailed mine.
Industrial Park Drive
Texas
Overheard by: peon incharge
Manager on phone: Tell me what your box looks like…
University of Wisconsin
HR rep #1, in HR team meeting: We're having a compliance visit tomorrow. Harry is bringing some HQ reports we don't have access to.
HR rep #2, loudly: Oh, fabulous. That's like someone going through your underwear drawer (begins to fade) and pulling out the granny panties (almost inaudible) with all the stuff… (trails off, then loudly) What?
Fontana, California
Student: Is Sarah* out sick today?
Boss: No, she had to run some errands, she will be in shortly.
Worker: I knew it, she had to get the morning after pill!
(everyone laughs)
Boss to worker: Yeah, because you're so stingy with yours!
Carnegie Mellon University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Employee: I ordered 2448 washers today! What did you get done?
Boss: I took a big shit this morning.
Philadelphia, PA
Female coworker on phone: I don't think he's the creepy/stalker type. I mean if he was, she wouldn't let him come over to her house and spend the night, would she? (pause) No, I haven't actually seen him yet.
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: Daniel
Marketing freak #1: It's like porn.
Marketing freak #2: Haha… Yeah. It is, I like it.
CEO's assistant: Porn?
Marketing freak #3: Yeah, Sports Illustrated. Have you seen it?
Itasca, Illinois
Overheard by: Walking through an Origy
Boss: It’s like birth — there’s nothing we can do but push.
Sunnyvale, California
Overheard by: Tristan O’Tierney
