Girl to friend: You don't have to use something as depressing as a rape crisis. You know, you can do like… battered women, girl power!
Portland, Maine
Girl to friend: You don't have to use something as depressing as a rape crisis. You know, you can do like… battered women, girl power!
Portland, Maine
40-something owner: I was working with my horse this weekend but he was being difficult. He was acting like a faggot!
Gay employee: Excuse me! I find that extremely offensive!
40-something owner: Well, you know what I mean. “Faggot” is what my friends and I used to call each other when we were kids.
Southern California
Overheard by: Could have been anybody…
Male suit: Meetings are like suction cups. They stick to things and leave a lasting mark that's tough to clean off. They can be useful in some instances, though they almost always suck, and when they don't suck people try and make them suck in a different location.
Underling: You forgot to add, though, that when they aren't working right, you can always start licking to see it that helps. A little moisture always makes things more interesting.
Central Point, Oregon
Overheard by: Turbo
Teen girl: Oh my god, like, I’m so hyper! I think I have ADD. I can’t stop twitching!
Bystander: No, you just can’t stop feelin’ the rhythm.
Toronto
Canadia
Woman in elevator: Listen, I survived four years in Canada, I think I can survive your house.
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
Associate #1: Why did you do that?
Associate #2: Do what?
Associate #1: Well, I was whistling, then you started whistling just as soon as I did.
Associate #2: When?
Associate #1: Just now. Are you trying to out-whistle me?
Associate #2: Out-what?
Associate #1: Out-whistle, out-whistle. I started to whistle, then you started doing it, only louder and faster and with some annoyingly catchy song.
Associate #2: I was just whistling.
Associate #1: Is this a competition? Are you competing with me?
Associate #2: I – ah – I don't – I don't understand what's happening.
Associate #1: You. Whistling. Stop it.
Associate #2: Ooookaaaay…
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Presidential Ass't
Cashier to another: Most of our customers are dumber than dirt, and they've got guns.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Locked & Loaded
Office lady #1: I need a haircut like I need a hole in the head!
Office lady #2: Me too! I'm going to get one right now!
Office lady #1: Hey, so am I!
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: i heart cubicles
Supervisor: This was supposed to be done hours ago, what is taking so long?
Employee: I was too busy working on my resume so I can get a better job.
Park Avenue
New York City, New York
Judge, on the bench: This is not a court of justice! This is a court of law!
Elyria, Ohio
