You're Just What This Reality Show Needs!

Young, pretty receptionist with Southern drawl to old salesman: You have the lowest motives with highest hopes that I have ever seen!

Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on February 10, 2016
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Mississippi, Receptionists, Sales

At the Super Bowel

Guy exiting bathroom to coworker: Seriously, you could have measured first downs with that.

Lititz, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 9, 2016
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Pennsylvania, Restroom

Why Don’t We Just Wear Sandwich Boards?

Employee: Do you think that font is big enough on these badges?
Manager: I think you have to make it really big, 36 font. Mark wants to be able to see who is coming at him from across the room.

Paramus, New Jersey

Posted on February 5, 2016
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, New Jersey, Questions, Wishes

Don’t Be Hatin’ on the Velveeta

Office worker: At first I thought it was cheese, but that would be optimistic.

Sixth Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Eyeteeth

Posted on February 4, 2016
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks, New York, Sensory Experiences, Wishes

…According to This Letter of Recommendation.

Cube rat: Jason* is a pretty good guy… for a racist homophobe.

Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Is That All?

Posted on January 30, 2016
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Texas, Weirdness

It Was the Count from Sesame Street!

Strategist #1, in comical accent: That's a match!
Strategist #2: I can't tell if that was Borat or one of the Mario Brothers.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Posted on January 26, 2016
California, Cinema, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Pop culture

I’m Working My Way Up to Eating Grease Out of the Fryer

Big chick: I walked to McDonald’s today. It’s like the subway diet, only less effective.

McDonald’s
Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Overheard by: jared

Posted on January 24, 2016
Compare and contrast, Default, Diet & Weight, Employees, Iowa, Meals and Snacks

That's More Like a Square Jerk

Coworker #1, about unproductive meeting: It's like a circle jerk?
Coworker #2: A circle jerk where no one comes.
Coworker #1: Those are the worst kinds.

Sacramento, California

Posted on January 22, 2016
California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Meetings

NewsFlash: Woman Beaten to Death with Krullers. Ruled “Justifiable.”

Soccer mom: Can I have a medium iced latte? (pause) Wait, how much is a large?
Employee: $2.99.
Soccer mom: And how much is the medium?
Employee: $2.69.
Soccer mom: So which is the better value?
Employee: Huh?
Soccer mom: How many ounces are in the large? How many are in the medium? What's the cost per ounce of each?
Next customer in line: Here's thirty cents, just give her a large.
Soccer mom: I'm not sure if I want a large.
Rest of very long line: Argh!

Dunkin Donuts
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Heavy D

Posted on January 18, 2016
Compare and contrast, Customers, Employees, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks, Money, New York, Out to Lunch, Questions

Where Is This “Staten Island” You Speak Of?

Sales guy to another: The town I grew up in was a little village, like a Mayberry; it had bars and stuff to do…

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Mayberry had alcohol!?

Posted on January 10, 2016
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, New York, Sales

Compare and contrast