Woman #1: What are you listening to?
Woman #2: Bing Crosby. Do you even know who that is?
Woman #1: Duh. It’s that guy who said, “Every time a light bulb goes out, an angel dies.”
Woman #2: You idiot, that’s Jimmy Stewart.
315 North Broadway
Tyler, Texas
Office Manager: Well, I’m done with my conference call.
Employee: That wasn’t very long.
Office Manager: Sorry about that. I aim to satisfy.
132 East Central Avenue
Lake Wales, Florida
Boss: I am not going to repeat myself… I said I am not going to repeat myself.
Suit: You just lost all credibility.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Boss: I’ve got part of the Kama Sutra on my wall.
Employee: Do we need to talk to H.R.?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
Chairman: It will be easy, like pulling a greasy stick out a dog’s arse.
Employee: That’s all well and good, but we have to get the greasy stick in there first!
Barrow-in-Furness
Cumbria, England
Lawyer #1: I now ask that this binder be admitted into evidence.
Lawyer #2: We would object to that, Your Honor.
Judge: What is your basis for introducing this into evidence?
Lawyer #1: The “moving things along faster” basis.
Judge: Denied.
500 Pearl Street
New York, NY
Employee #1: Where the hell were you?
Employee #2: In the bathroom.
Employee #1: For twenty minutes? God, I thought you were sleeping with the feces.
320 17 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Pod dweller #1: So, I might take tomorrow off.
Pod dweller #2: Nice, what're you gonna do?
Pod dweller #1: Nothin, going to the gym and stuff…I'll probably come in to work.
Pod dweller #2: That's the shittiest day off I ever heard.
Pennsylvania, Philadelphia
Overheard by: sex > work
Co-worker #1: So do they have offices in the Northern part of Texas?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, like up in that chimney portion of the state.
Co-worker #1: Oh. I’ll show you a fire.
Co-worker #2: What?
611 North Broadway
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Coworker #1: So I was talking to my friend on the phone, and there was a snake in his room! I would have snapped it in half! I would’ve come after it with a pair of hedge clippers.
Coworker #2: It wouldn’t so much snap as it would snip.
405 Main Street
Milford, Michigan
Overheard by: John M.
