Engineer: So, this system should give the operators a maximum of 200 blisters per minute.
Cambridge, Ontario
Canadia
Engineer: So, this system should give the operators a maximum of 200 blisters per minute.
Cambridge, Ontario
Canadia
Female employee #1: …so if the sun exploded seven minutes ago, we wouldn’t know it yet, because it takes eight minutes for the sun’s light to reach us.
Male employee: That’s depressing! What would you do in those seven minutes?
Female employee #1: If I were at work? Have sex.
Male employee: Isn’t that’s a lot of pressure on the guy?
Female employee #1: Please. Guys are usually all, “Gimme two minutes!”
Female employee #2: You could do three guys in that time!
Female employee #1: Three and a half!
Boulevard Sacré Coeur
Gatineau, Quebec
Overheard by: Sara
Coworker #1: Hey, can you download this script for me: ‘I’m in Hell.’
Coworker #2: Oh my god, what happened? You were fine just a second ago! What’s that script you want called?
Coworker #1: ‘I’m in Hell,’ and I’m fine.
Coworker #2: That’s weird, having a script called ‘I’m fine’ when you’re in Hell.
Coworker #1: No, not ‘I’m fine’ — ‘I’m in Hell.’
Coworker #2: Seriously? What’s going on?!
Coworker #1: The script is ‘I’m in Hell.’ And I’m fine.
Coworker #2: Wait, what?
Coworker #1: [Sighs.]Boss: This is lamest edition of ‘Who’s on first?’ I’ve ever heard.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Office Ears
Tech support girl: So, what should I tell them? They say their internet is slow.
Tech support supervisor: Tell them to suck my big brown dick.
Ontario
Canadia
Designer: Hey, I’m photoshopping — no spanking!
West 5th Avenue
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: designgrl
Office manager: The first rule of thumb is that two geotechnical engineers will always give you two different answers. The second rule of thumb is that I’m always right.
Interns: Hahahahahahahahah
Pause
Office manager: I’m being serious.
1066 West Hastings
Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Andrew
Automated computer voice on elevator: Second floor. Going down.
Old man: Uh, up yours.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Up it to what?
Tech guy: And then you hit CTRL+P to finish processing the claim.
Coworker: But it's not letting me CTRL+P. Why can't I control my p?
Victoria
Canadia
Manager: We’re all sharks. Remember, guys.
Employee: Huh? Sharks?
Manager: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep moving their whole life or they’ll die. They never stop moving. So keep moving, guys! We’re sharks!
Employee: So basically what you’re saying is that if we stop moving, you’ll kill us all?
208 Chain Lake Drive
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Punk rocker to another: I really want a job in Chinatown, but there's one problem–I'm white!
Calgary
Canadia
