Canadia

Female worker bee: Next time I make popcorn, I’m putting it in my pants.

Columbus Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Woman walking by to someone across the room: And I will never confuse you for my common-law spouse.

Toronto
Canadia

Worker bee: Well… That’s the last time I put fiber powder on my macaroni and cheese.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Lowly finance clerk to director: What'd you lose?
Director: The eyeball from my carrot.

Nunavut
Canada

Overheard by: Finance Officer #3

Lunch mate #1: We should be parts of the reproductive system for Halloween.
Lunch mate #2: Oooooh, can I be a clitoris?!”

Scarborough
Canadia

Overheard by: Cnote

Camp coordinator on cell with staff: So wait… They took your shoes and started chewing on them? (pause) But are your shoes okay now? (pause) Well, that's good then, at least. Sometimes I wonder why I work with children.

Ontario
Canada

Overheard by: Camp really is a magical place…

Coworker, on phone to client: We provide all sorts of services, it just depends on whether or not you're willing to pay for them.

Edmonton
Canadia

Cube dweller #1: Sometimes I think I am only here for comic relief!
Cube dweller #2: If that's you're role, then why am I here?
Cube dweller #1: You're my muse, bitch!

Markham
Ontario
Canadia

Engineer: So, this system should give the operators a maximum of 200 blisters per minute.

Cambridge, Ontario
Canadia

Female employee #1: …so if the sun exploded seven minutes ago, we wouldn’t know it yet, because it takes eight minutes for the sun’s light to reach us.
Male employee: That’s depressing! What would you do in those seven minutes?
Female employee #1: If I were at work? Have sex.
Male employee: Isn’t that’s a lot of pressure on the guy?
Female employee #1: Please. Guys are usually all, “Gimme two minutes!”
Female employee #2: You could do three guys in that time!
Female employee #1: Three and a half!

Boulevard Sacré Coeur
Gatineau, Quebec

Overheard by: Sara