Canadia

Woman arguing on phone with husband: Calm down, please. I'm sending you a picture of a funny cat. Go look at the cat.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

Employee: Next time, just use me! I’m a tool!

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Senior business analyst: That e-mail is pretty good. Now just polish it up and send it out.
Business analyst: I did polish it!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Derek Braithwaite

Guy: Do you think it’s possible to be allergic to… you know?
Girl: No, I don’t know…
Guy: Sure you do.
Girl: No, I don’t know what ‘you know’ is!
Guy: Yes, you know!
Girl: What? You mean, like, condoms?
Guy: No, like you know — vagina…
Girl: Why on earth would anybody be allergic to vagina?!
Guy: Cause, you know, it’s like fish.

Customer service call center
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: MBN

Coworker #1, reading article: ‘Morphine is highly addictive…’
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive.
Coworker #1: But it says right here in this encyclopedia article–
Coworker #2: —Morphine is not addictive.
All other coworkers: It says right here!
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive! I know this for a fact!

Lunch break
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Female #1: Actually, me and my ex had a drink together a few weeks ago.
Female #2: I'm impressed at your ability to stay friends with your exes.
Female #1: No, he's the only one. That I dated. I'm friends with a lot of people that I've done…”business” with.
Female #2: I… I have to go.

Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Creeped Out

New coworker: I can create files on my network drive now, and my car isn't on fire in the parking lot. This has been a good first day so far.

Ontario
Canadia

Cube rat: You know, every time I eat something tiny like a nut or a seed I feel like a monkey.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: mego

College director in office: I know, it's so sad. Now when I wake up there's nobody licking my face.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Haffy

Male coworker #1: Was she here yesterday?
Male coworker #2, as unknown object goes flying by overhead: Of course she was here, don't you remember throwing things at her all day?

Department of National Defence
Ottawa
Canadia