Co-worker #1: So do you think the developers can hit this target?
Co-worker #2: I mean the bar is so low how can they not?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I suppose even people in the Special Olympics can make it over this one.
10866 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Supervisor to contractor: What can I do to turn you on?
Shipyard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: sarah
Boss: So then you and Josh will need to mate together the two documents that you’re sending to customers, and include a note explaining why.
Co-worker: Sounds good. Starting in October, [Nathan] and I will send letters to inform all of our customers about our mating.
9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California
Overheard by: Josh
VP to general counsel: A nine-inch wiener is a nine-inch wiener. You’ve got to make it look pretty.
850 Bryant Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: IC Balaam
Cube rat to another: I just wouldn't be able to sleep with myself if I did something like that to someone.
Oceanside, California
Customer service “specialist”: Sir, I was not yelling, I was only raising my voice.
Sunnyvale, California
Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?
Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California
Trainee: This customer is mad because we won't cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won't stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He's gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won't cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This… uh… Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I'm sorry.
Riverview Parkway, San Diego
Engineer: Don’t kill anyone.
Tech Writer: Can I maim them?
Engineer: Yeah. If you maim them you seem like more of a team player.
1550 Buckeye Drive
Milpitas, California
Art department staff member to intern: We need a camel that looks sexually harassed.
Los Angeles, California
