Manager on phone: Yeah, I broke up with him…Yeah, he was okay…Yeah…Yeah…But he just didn’t scale.
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: David
Manager on phone: Yeah, I broke up with him…Yeah, he was okay…Yeah…Yeah…But he just didn’t scale.
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: David
Boss: Do you know what the difference between you and me is?
Employee: About 20 IQ points and a sense of style?
1 Lincoln Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: tried not to laugh out loud
Office manager: Did you make an anonymous donation to our MS bike team?
Intern: I wish!
51st Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Employee: Someone just called me. They said, “Hello,” and asked if I could help them because they had a question. I didn’t know what to do, so I said, “No,” and hung up. Was that okay?
Boss: I guess that’s one way of handling it.
US Patent and Trademark Office
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: Why Me?
Boss: When will you be done with these?
Jackass: I dunno, all I have left is to finish.
Hudson, Wisconsin
Boss: Why didn’t you build those three displays last night?
Night guy: I couldn’t find the stuff to do it with.
Boss, going back and pointing to the only three pallets of stuff in the back room: This is the stuff you couldn’t find all night?
Night guy: You should have put in my note that I should look harder.
Albertson’s
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Bill
Secretary: Put it in! Put it in! Faster, c’mon! I can’t take it, put it in! [Giggles]Worker: Ready? Here we go. [Excessive grunting]Secretary: Oh yeah, that feels great! Oh, yes.
Boss walks by. Looks in office.
Boss: What the hell is going on here?
Secretary: He just put the air conditioner in!
2000 Peel Street
Montreal, Quebec
Overheard by: Monika
Manager: I made a mental note about that, but I don’t seem to have brought it with me.
State Office Campus
Albany, New York
Overheard by: schaefs
Boss: Oh my god! There were things in there that I should have put away or hidden, like sex toys in stuff that I keep in my underwear drawer.
Coworker: She wouldn’t go in your underwear drawer.
Boss: Well that’s why she’s there…to help us pack. Oh my god, I have like two sets of handcuffs, too.
2355 West Bangs Avenue
Neptune, New Jersey
Attorney: Hey Jordan*, what have you done for me lately?
Jordan: Nothing, actually.
Attorney: Anything you do for the boss, you do for me!
Jordan: Well in that case, I’ve been avoiding your phone calls lately.
4 Times Square
New York, New York
Overheard by: Just looking…
