Secretary: Put it in! Put it in! Faster, c’mon! I can’t take it, put it in! [Giggles]Worker: Ready? Here we go. [Excessive grunting]Secretary: Oh yeah, that feels great! Oh, yes.
Boss walks by. Looks in office.
Boss: What the hell is going on here?
Secretary: He just put the air conditioner in!
2000 Peel Street
Montreal, Quebec
Overheard by: Monika
Manager: I made a mental note about that, but I don’t seem to have brought it with me.
State Office Campus
Albany, New York
Overheard by: schaefs
Boss: Oh my god! There were things in there that I should have put away or hidden, like sex toys in stuff that I keep in my underwear drawer.
Coworker: She wouldn’t go in your underwear drawer.
Boss: Well that’s why she’s there…to help us pack. Oh my god, I have like two sets of handcuffs, too.
2355 West Bangs Avenue
Neptune, New Jersey
Attorney: Hey Jordan*, what have you done for me lately?
Jordan: Nothing, actually.
Attorney: Anything you do for the boss, you do for me!
Jordan: Well in that case, I’ve been avoiding your phone calls lately.
4 Times Square
New York, New York
Overheard by: Just looking…
Buyer: It’s great. We bought a ton of old Levi’s jeans dirt cheap, scuffed them up, and are selling them for two hundred dollars apiece.
Store manager: That’s genius! How much are we paying you again?
729 East Lancaster Road
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Genevieve
Employee: I’ve never traveled for work before. Is there a per diem, or…?
Boss: Well, there’s an allowance of ten dollars a day for breakfast, fifteen dollars a day for lunch, and twenty-five dollars a day for dinner. So, fifty dollars a day. But save all your receipts, you have to turn all of them in to get credit for what you spend.
Employee: So if I ate a banana for breakfast and a banana for lunch…could I go to a Braves game at night?
Boss: [squinting] Uh…
Employee: Okay, how about this: a banana for breakfast, a banana for lunch, and prostitutes in the hotel room?
Boss: You know, why don’t you go to a Braves game?
Employee: That sounds great, thank you!
12920 SE 38th Street
Bellevue, Washington
VP : So tell me again, why should she get a raise?
Director: She’s been with us fifteen years, just completed her Masters and has made a lot of money for us the last 10 years.
VP: Listen, we don’t give out raises for people who do a good job. You’ve gotta have a better reason than that.
1600 East Wendover Avenue
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Tom Duehring
Boss: When you tie something around your mouth so that you can’t make sound, what’s that called?
Trainee: What?
Boss: Like if somebody is tied up and you put a rag in their mouth, what’s that called?
Trainee: A gag?
Boss: How is that spelled?
Trainee: Uhhh…G-A-G.
Boss: How about gagged? Like, somebody is bound and gagged.
Trainee: G-A-G-G-E-D…what the hell?
Boss: It’s all part of your training.
550 Eagles Landing Parkway
Stockbridge, Georgia
Coworker #1 on boss: Is he here? I think his light’s out.
Coworker #2: I’m not even going to touch that one.
111 E Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Boss: Hello Shannon*, how are you today?
Secretary: Just fine.
Boss: You keepin’ outta trouble?
Secretary: Yes.
Boss: Oh… then you haven’t heard…?
Secretary: What?!
Boss: Nothin’! I’m just messin’ with ya!
1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Pirate Wench
