3PM On-the-Job Training

Assistant: Hey, I couldn’t figure out how to put it into Word from Excel. So here you go.

Boss: You just cut and paste it.

Assistant: But you can’t do that from Excel to Word, it won’t let you.

Boss: Yes, you can, just right-click and copy and paste it.

Assistant: Trust me, I just spent the whole morning trying to, it’s a locked document.

Boss: OK, 1947 called, and they want their technology ability back. What’s wrong with you? Hey, who hired you again?

300 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cam

Posted on February 20, 2017
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Gripes, Insults, Massachusetts, Technology

I’ve Sacked Plenty of Clemson Graduates, Though

Lobbyist, accompanying CEO: Clemson football games are wonderful. Saturday afternoon games down there are great.
Staffer: Yes, they were a lot of fun.
Lobbyist, to CEO: Have you ever watched a Clemson game?
CEO, nonchalantly turning to leave: No, they never played Yale.

Washington, DC

Posted on February 8, 2017
Bosses and Underlings, Sports, Washington DC

Pope Benedict: True Dat

Catholic seminary library employee: Are you going to interview Jane's friend for the position?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No, I decided she wasn't qualified enough.
Catholic seminary library employee: That's a relief.
Catholic seminary library supervisor, surprised: Why do you say that? Don't you like her?
Catholic seminary library employee: It's just that… Have you ever overheard any of their phone conversations?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No.
Catholic seminary library employee: It's like they're in a competition over who has the most intense visions of the blessed Virgin Mary. We already get enough of that shit.

California

Overheard by: bless me for I have sinned

Posted on January 22, 2017
Bosses and Underlings, California, Hiring & Firing, On the phone, Questions, Religion, Religious folk, Weirdness

Well, for One Thing, They Aren’t There

Peon calling supervisor about note from employee: Did you check your pants today?
Production supervisor: What kind of question is that?

Madison, Wisconsin

Posted on December 15, 2016
Bosses and Underlings, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Wisconsin

1PM Sorting Mail

CSR: I just got one of those uh, uh, NAFTA things. What does that stand for? National Automobile–
Supervisor: Um, I think it’s North American Free Trade Agreement. Or Association. One of those two.
CSR: Are you sure it’s not National Automobile something?
Supervisor: I think you’re thinking of NASCAR?
CSR: Ahh, yes.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, NewJersy

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on December 1, 2016
Bosses and Underlings, Customer Service, Metro Northeast

9AM Back to Work

Supervisor to dark-skinned Indian employee: Were you out much this weekend? You are so tan.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on November 20, 2016
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, New Jersey, Questions, Race, Weather

2PM Client Meeting

Manager #1: Do you think Christmas carols are appropriate for when the
prospective client comes in at 2?
Manager #2: What’s wrong with Christmas carols?
Manager #1: I just feel like it doesn’t represent us.
Manager #2: You’re asking the wrong person, because I love christmas carols.
Underling: Well, [the CEO] is the one who put this playlist on.
Manager #1 & #2: Oh, okay.

552 Broadway
New York, NY