Assistant: This Rubik’s cube is a little harder than this one.
Manager: Actually they’re the same, one’s just smaller.
Assistant: Yeah, but this one’s harder to solve…
Manager: No, I mean mathematically it’s exactly the same.
2301 M Street, NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Tobias
Employee: Do you think I can leave my machete on display? I moved my plants and posters.
Supervisor: Machete, cool. Bayonet, not cool. I already asked HR.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: I Think I’ll Request A Different Cubicle
Boss to underling: Who was President after Lincoln?
Underling: Wasn't Carter after Lincoln?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: About a 100 years after
Boss: I’m trying to figure out how to explain this in terms that you can understand.
Jane*: I think I get what you’re trying to say.
Male peon #1: I think I also understand what you’re trying to say.
Male peon #2: Me, too.
Boss: Let me put it this way: let’s all imagine that Jane is at the OB/GYN…
Response Road
Sacramento, California
Secretary: She said she’s having trouble with her desktop…
Manager: Her desktop or her laptop?
Secretary: Desktop.
Manager: So the one that sits on the desk, or the one that she can carry around with her?
Secretary: Yes.
Portland, Oregon
Employee: She owed $1,000 for her electric bill and somehow paid it. I asked her how she pulled it off, and all she would say is “we have our ways.” I assume it was something illegal.
Supervisor: Well… How illegal are we talking here? If it's a felony, never mind; but if it's just misdemeanor stuff, maybe we can get other people on the wagon.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Should probably leave legal advice to the experts…
Intern: I need to get some sun… so I can get laid. I mean, cancer or celibacy?
Office manager: Cancer!
212 3rd Avenue North
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sad, but True
Peon: Is one million with six zeros?
Boss: Yes, and a one.
10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Boss: You’re starting to sound like my wife.
Employee: He can’t sound like your wife, he doesn’t hate you.
Boss: Yes, he does.
300 Pompton Road
Wayne, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lots of love going around
VP, jokingly: … And this is the part of the project where we’ll assign blame when we have to.
Marketing manager: We’re expecting blame?
VP: Oh, sure — blame is like water: it gets through any cracks and always works its way downwards.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
