Intern: I need to get some sun… so I can get laid. I mean, cancer or celibacy?
Office manager: Cancer!
212 3rd Avenue North
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sad, but True
Intern: I need to get some sun… so I can get laid. I mean, cancer or celibacy?
Office manager: Cancer!
212 3rd Avenue North
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Sad, but True
Peon: Is one million with six zeros?
Boss: Yes, and a one.
10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Boss: You’re starting to sound like my wife.
Employee: He can’t sound like your wife, he doesn’t hate you.
Boss: Yes, he does.
300 Pompton Road
Wayne, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lots of love going around
VP, jokingly: … And this is the part of the project where we’ll assign blame when we have to.
Marketing manager: We’re expecting blame?
VP: Oh, sure — blame is like water: it gets through any cracks and always works its way downwards.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Assistant: Hey, I couldn’t figure out how to put it into Word from Excel. So here you go.
Boss: You just cut and paste it.
Assistant: But you can’t do that from Excel to Word, it won’t let you.
Boss: Yes, you can, just right-click and copy and paste it.
Assistant: Trust me, I just spent the whole morning trying to, it’s a locked document.
Boss: OK, 1947 called, and they want their technology ability back. What’s wrong with you? Hey, who hired you again?
300 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cam
Lobbyist, accompanying CEO: Clemson football games are wonderful. Saturday afternoon games down there are great.
Staffer: Yes, they were a lot of fun.
Lobbyist, to CEO: Have you ever watched a Clemson game?
CEO, nonchalantly turning to leave: No, they never played Yale.
Washington, DC
Catholic seminary library employee: Are you going to interview Jane's friend for the position?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No, I decided she wasn't qualified enough.
Catholic seminary library employee: That's a relief.
Catholic seminary library supervisor, surprised: Why do you say that? Don't you like her?
Catholic seminary library employee: It's just that… Have you ever overheard any of their phone conversations?
Catholic seminary library supervisor: No.
Catholic seminary library employee: It's like they're in a competition over who has the most intense visions of the blessed Virgin Mary. We already get enough of that shit.
California
Overheard by: bless me for I have sinned
Peon calling supervisor about note from employee: Did you check your pants today?
Production supervisor: What kind of question is that?
Madison, Wisconsin
CSR: I just got one of those uh, uh, NAFTA things. What does that stand for? National Automobile–
Supervisor: Um, I think it’s North American Free Trade Agreement. Or Association. One of those two.
CSR: Are you sure it’s not National Automobile something?
Supervisor: I think you’re thinking of NASCAR?
CSR: Ahh, yes.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, NewJersy
Overheard by: office peon
Supervisor to dark-skinned Indian employee: Were you out much this weekend? You are so tan.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
