VP: Our newsletter is gonna be sexy.
Co-worker: I thought we’re trying to be more corporate.
VP: I’m the VP of corporate development, and i’m telling you we’re sexy!
100 William Street
New York, NY
VP: Our newsletter is gonna be sexy.
Co-worker: I thought we’re trying to be more corporate.
VP: I’m the VP of corporate development, and i’m telling you we’re sexy!
100 William Street
New York, NY
Business Services Manager: I just sent you that logo in Word format.
Web Manager: Word isn’t really an image format, but I can probably make it work.
Business Services Manager: Well, I probably have it in another format. I think I might have it as a Giraffe.
211 Commerce Street
Nashville, Tennessee
IT #1: Okay, I’ll set up one of my extra workstations and get a wireless card for it.
IT #2: Can you get a card easily?
IT #1: Oh sure, they’re only about 50 bucks. I can get petty cash.
Manager: So we have to go through you. Why can’t [Claude] get it?
IT #2: Because I have to go through too many layers of management and red tape.
Manager: For an old computer and a $50 card?
IT #1: Yeah, this place is like a prison. It’s all about who can trade cigarettes for a sharp shiv.
Manager: Or who’s around when you drop the soap…
525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri
Project Manager: We didn’t know the old system generated those reports.
CIO: Well, you can’t clean out an old warehouse without finding a few rat turds in the corner.
655 Engineering Drive
Norcross, Georgia
Peon #1: Those Jordanians are really teed off.
Peon #2: Is that even a word?
9115 Harris Corners Parkway
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: Did you hear about the terrorist attacks in Jordan?
Secretary: Um, yes; a suicide bomber killed hundreds of people at a wedding.
Boss: You see, you shouldn’t attend so many weddings. The odds are against you.
10550 North Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California
Boss: Those cupcakes are delicious. What a sugar rush!
Intern: I broke out in hives.
Boss: In hives?
Intern: A rash. My skin is very sensitive.
Boss: To sugar?
Intern: Yup.
Boss: That’s amazing.
Intern: When I was a kid I got sick and I had to have, like, ten X-rays a day. Literally, five X-rays a day. And I think that messed up my photons.
Boss: Your photons?
Intern: Yeah, that’s how X-rays work, you know? They reverse your photons. That’s how they get the image.
Boss: Oh.
Intern: That’s why my skin is so sensitive, because they messed up the photons. They won’t admit it, because they don’t want me to sue them. But I know what’s up.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.
5 minutes pass.
Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.
3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York
Boss #1: You’re taking off for your wedding; when will you be back?
Co-worker: Two weeks.
Boss #2: Yes, and when she gets back, she’ll no longer be a virgin.
609 Reliability Circle
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Arthur Vandelay
VP: God! They’ve got you working reception? We must be really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
5203 Leesburg Pike
Falls Church, Virginia
Worker Bee: How many people do we have signed up so far?
Middle Manager: So far as have 35 RSTDs.
Worker Bee: Hmm, we should really stock up on more antibiotics.
1155 East 60th Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: eazy_e
