Lawyer on phone: You know Bob* in the development office, the bald guy with the peg leg? Man, I am always having these Freudian slips around him that are so inappropriate. Like one time, we were talking about girls and he came in and I asked “what about you, Bob, are you a leg man?”
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Coworker on conference call: I thought you were on booty call!
Windsor Mill, Maryland
Young coworker: You're on top of things today.
80-year-old coworker: It's always good to be on top… Well, unless you're tired, then the bottom is better.
Mount Prospect, Illinois
Normally quiet female VP: Are you kidding me? The cops here are all violent wanna-be cowboys, overcompensating for the butt-plugs and kiddie porn in their sock drawers!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: very quietly agrees
Female bank teller to male customer with an open beer between his knees: I sure would like to have what's between your legs!
Dawson Springs, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Male coworker #1: Supposed to get up to fifty this weekend!
Male coworker #2: Yup.
Male coworker #1: Folks are gonna looooove that.
Male coworker #2: Yep. Especially the doctors.
Male coworker #1: What?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, cuz you know when it gets warm everyone takes off their coats and then gets a cold and they have to go to the doctor, and he gets to poke them in the butt.
Crane, Indiana
Overheard by: Dr. J
Female coworker on phone: Was it big? (pause) Oh… Wow! He used an attachment? (pause) Well, how much did that add on?
Ottawa
Canadia
Male coworker in men's room, heard echoing from outer hallway: Don't make me spank you with my sexticles.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Slutty girl: Ugh, I feel all queasy today. Like even the smell of water makes me want to puke.
Girl #1: Last time I felt like that I was pregnant.
Slutty girl: Don't say that!
Girl #2: When was the last time you got some?
Slutty girl: Like two weeks ago. Oh, but never mind, Dave's* dick was so small there's no way I'm pregnant.
Texas
Male office worker: Megan Fox is so hot in the Transformers movie…
Female office worker: Except for her thumb.
Male office worker: What?
Female office worker: Seriously, google “Megan Fox thumb.”
Male office worker, after googling it: Oh my god!
Female office worker: See?
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
