Paris Latsis Needs to Work on His Game

Customer: So, yeah, the wedding’s off. I just couldn’t deal with her mother, you know?
Salesgirl: Totally.
Customer: She was just always sticking her nose into our business — we couldn’t get a moment of peace.
Salesgirl: Yeah.
Customer: And then, of course, [my wife] goes and tells her about my impotence, and it all went downhill from there.
Salesgirl: God. Well, you did the right thing. Just hang in there.
Customer: Mmm. Anyway, it was really nice meeting you, Julie*.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Kate

Posted on June 4, 2015
Australia, Dumb Customers, Gossip

They Don't Obey

Loud colleague: She has to order her boobs?

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: confused but amused

Posted on May 30, 2015
Australia, Body Parts, Coworkers, Questions, Weirdness

5PM That’s a Wrap

Coworker #1: Dammit! I hate being poisoned!
Coworker #2: You know, something tells me that you aren’t doing paperwork.

460 Canning Highway
Perth, Australia

Posted on May 27, 2015
Australia, Coworkers, Feelings, General Idiocy, Gossip, Health & Hygiene

According to My Personality Profile

Boss: I would rather be dressed in chaps and a police cap at the Blue Oyster Bar than be subjected to the XYZ Company* auditors.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: K67

Posted on May 23, 2015
Australia, Dumb Bosses, Gripes

Ten Bucks Says They Didn't Tell Him.

Cheery coworker on Thursday: Thank god it's Friday!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: confused but amused

Posted on May 17, 2015
Australia, Coworkers, Feelings, General Idiocy, Weirdness

Not to Be Confused with the Compulsive Nintendo-Playing Syndrome “Wario-osis”

Secretary #1: Yeah, he has warosis. That's when you've just gotten back from a war and you have all this trauma from it.
Secretary #2: Oh gosh. I've heard of that – my granddad had it when he got back from the war.

Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia

Posted on May 5, 2015
Admins, Australia, Family, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene

Once, Believing It to Be My Phone, I Answered It

Coworker, waving around a Stanley knife: I keep picking this up thinking it's a banana.

Sydney
Australia

Posted on May 2, 2015
Australia, Dumb Employees, Meals and Snacks, Weirdness

Even in the Black Hills You See White People

Aussie: Is Motown a black state?
American: Uh, actually Motown is a nickname for Detroit, and a record label.
Aussie: Is Detroit a black state?
American: No, it’s a city.
Aussie: Is Tennessee a black state?
American: Whaaa… there’s no such thing as a black state.
Aussie: There isn’t?

Reservoir Street
Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Yank Down Under

Posted on May 2, 2015
Australia, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Questions, Race

9AM Monday, Monday

Receptionist: Yeah, but if you say that then you’re being illogical–
Exec: Ah, that’s your problem, you’ve brought logic into the argument.
Receptionist: Um…

271 Rathdowne Street
Carlton, Victoria
Australia

Posted on May 2, 2015
Australia, Comebacks, Executives, General Idiocy, Receptionists, Words

Stuffed and on the Mantel? Oh.

Coworker to another: How's the dog? I can't ask you “how's the family?” or “how are the friends?” because you got none, but you have a dog, right?

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: my office is fun

Posted on April 30, 2015
Animals, Australia, Coworkers, Family, Questions, Weirdness