Yuppie analyst #1: Dude, that girl you took home last night was maybe a 3.
Yuppie analyst #2: I mean…it was my birthday, I had way too much to drink, I… (pauses) You're right…no excuses…she was a total farm animal.
New York City, New York
Yuppie analyst #1: Dude, that girl you took home last night was maybe a 3.
Yuppie analyst #2: I mean…it was my birthday, I had way too much to drink, I… (pauses) You're right…no excuses…she was a total farm animal.
New York City, New York
Peon to another: You know, that game where they throw the horseshoes.
Toronto
Canadia
Client with sick dog: I need to see the veterinarian on duty because my dog isn't feeling well.
Veterinarian receptionist: Is your dog a male or female?
Client with sick dog: She's a male.
Wooster, Ohio
Overheard by: netty
Employee on phone: What did you say? I'm not going to drink the blood of a cow!
New York City, New York
Wife, reading advertisement: What is an erotic petting zoo?
Husband: A what?
Wife, louder: An erotic petting zoo!
Husband, looking: That says “exotic” petting zoo.
Wife: Oh, well…that makes more sense.
Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
Female tech: I have the funniest hiccups. They sound like kittens!
Boss: If you say so.
McComb, Mississippi
Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!
Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois
Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle
Female coworker #1: So I bought this Tupperware to help wildlife. It comes in different colors and designs. This one has dolphins, and one of the others has monkeys on it.
Female coworker #2, mockingly: You are so fucking queer.
Female coworker #1, shouting: I'll show you fucking queer!
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Shocked & Awed
Coworker: Man, I've been using vacation time like a wounded duck.
Titusvile, Florida
Overheard by: Hoss
Coworker: I hope I don’t get molasses in my dog bite.
Niagara & West Ferry
Buffalo, New York
