Male receptionist: I like to listen to Warren G when I'm doing a cryptorchid neuter.
Female receptionist: Why's that?
Male receptionist: Because he lets his nuts hang.
Veterinary Hospital
New York City, New York
Male receptionist: I like to listen to Warren G when I'm doing a cryptorchid neuter.
Female receptionist: Why's that?
Male receptionist: Because he lets his nuts hang.
Veterinary Hospital
New York City, New York
Office lady #1: As soon as you put out cookies or candy or whatever, people around here descend on it. They're like cockroaches.
Office lady #2, eating free candy: Oh, thank you very much! I'm a cockroach, am I?
Office lady #1: Fine. It's like magic, okay?
Office lady #2: Magical cockroaches?
Office lady #1: Magical cockroaches.
Office lady #2: Well, it's good to know that at least I'm a magical cockroach.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Admin to another: I just got peed on by a radioactive cat, hold on.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Andy
Coworker on phone: Hi! Yes, I'm am looking for deer carcasses. I was hoping you can help me find some roadkill deer carcasses.
Virginia
Waiter: There's a fly buzzing around. I kept him off your food.
Manager: Ah, it doesn't matter. Nobody ever died from that.
Waiter: Nobody ever died from licking my balls, either. You want to come over here and do that?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
CFO: I had a hamster once. His name was MC Hamster.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Elisabeth
Man on phone: Man I saw plenty of dogs in Shanghai, and I gotta tell you they weren't eating them!
Chinatown
Washington, DC
President yelling at CFO: You eat an elephant one bite at a time, but we're trying to swallow it whole and we're starting with the tusks!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Female worker: That's my cue to saddle up! (mimes mounting a horse)
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: Intern in the next Cube
Employee #1, about former boss: Why is her Facebook picture a bird?
Employee #2: She loved birds. She has a cajillion of them. When she worked here there was bird shit everywhere. There are still some remnants.
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: My desk has a window
