Animals

Loud finance lady on the phone: Oh, so you're a bear? I never would have guessed.

Stratford, Connecticut

Peon: When she gets drunk, she gets up on her high Christian horse.

Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia

Boss: You never know which way a frog is going to jump until you punch him.

Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: Nate

Female employee: I'm not really doing anything except drinking caffeine in my office and looking at unicorn websites. I found a unicorn name generator…

Denver, Colorado

Boss in meeting room: Enough of the dragon talk, gentlemen.

Madison, Wisconsin

Admin: Well, it's not every day that you see a pig being chased by a monkey.

Clerkenwell Road
London
England

Overheard by: Murray

Maniac: Come in, I won’t bite anymore.
Worker: …Won’t bite…anymore?
Maniac: I usedta work at a veternarian. He usedta lock me up with the animals in a cage! When they’d bark, the only way to get them to stop was to bark at them. And bite them–on the ear!

708 Broadway elevator
New York, NY

Overheard by: Kevin Davidson

Coworker on phone: It's a shoe… or a snake.

Lawrence, Kansas

Office admin: I'm no one's monkey! My dances are spontaneous!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: snapszen

Psychiatrist: I once made the mistake of taking a cat in the shower with me.

Elizabeth, New Jersey

Overheard by: invisi-tern