Bookseller in children's department: Can I help you find anything?
Mother: Has CS Lewis written anything new lately?
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Bookseller in children's department: Can I help you find anything?
Mother: Has CS Lewis written anything new lately?
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
65-year-old female manager to male manager: Every time I talk to this woman it turns into a huge dick-waving contest. (pause) I think she has finally realized that I am the queen of winning dick-waving contests.
Mobile, Alabama
Overheard by: Winning this contest any day
Police officer: He's talking to ducks.
Dispatcher: Ducks? As in quack-quack duck?
Police officer (very perky): 10-4!
Dispatcher: How many ducks is he talking to?
Police officer: Uh…just one that I can see.
Huntsville, Alabama
Overheard by: Niki
Four-year-old boy: Mom…mom, I have to go potty.
Mom: Okay… Just a minute.
Four-year-old boy: Mom… Mom…I have to gooooo.
Mom: Okay…I said in just a minute.
Grandmother (standing up): I'll take him.
Mom: That's okay, I'll take him.
(grandmother turns away to sit down)
Four-year-old boy: Mom, I just gotta go to!
Mom: Okay honey… Just hold it for one second!
Four-year-old boy: Hold what?
Mexican Restaurant
Huntsville, Alabama
Overheard by: Melonia S
Woman (looking at new drinks): I don't need more drinks to choose from. I'm not that interested in beverages. I like my Diet Coke, I like my vodka, and that's all I need.
Lakeshore Drive
Birmingham, Alabama
Phil: I just got back from the restroom… Harry was in a stall talking to somebody on the cell phone while shitting. Farting and flushing and talking. Then he didn't even wash his hands on the way out. Remind me to never ever ever borrow his phone.
Dan: I couldn't talk to somebody and poop at the same time. My poop time is my private time.
Huntsville, Alabama
Girl at lunch table: I’m not musty — it’s her sandwich.
630 Broad Street
Gadsden, Alabama
Nerdy worker: Well, unfortunately she had rubbed her butt across the floor. Man, it smelled so bad.
Coworker: Oh my god!
Nerdy worker: Yeah, we used some Febreze on it, so it was a little better yesterday.
Highway 280
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Glad I don’t work for Stanley Steamer
Lady coworker: I’m going for a walk. My legs are sore from being under that desk all day.
Montgomery, Alabama
Overheard by: Tina
