President yelling at CFO: You eat an elephant one bite at a time, but we're trying to swallow it whole and we're starting with the tusks!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
President yelling at CFO: You eat an elephant one bite at a time, but we're trying to swallow it whole and we're starting with the tusks!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Employee #1: Well, you should move to New Jersey. There are great apartments in my complex.
Employee #2: I don’t know that I want to move out there.
Employee #1: The apartments are great, lots of closet space, granite countertops in the kitchen.
Employee #2: I don’t want granite counters. If I fall and hit my head on them, it would hurt.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York
Lawyer on phone to client: They're fuckin' you, Dave*. It's a new way of fucking, but they're fucking you.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Intern chick #1: You know, it bothers me going into a store to buy condoms. But I am equally troubled by the idea that even when I buy them online, someone has to physically stuff them into a box with the lube I ordered, and then ship it to my address. And they're there in some warehouse, thinking “Susie's getting laid tonight!”
Intern chick #2: You should look into Xanax.
Rochester, New York
Coworker to another: It's not up to you to do the right thing.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: anoyed
Sales guy in restroom: You know, if you really want to have fun take the blue pill now.
Darien, Connecticut
Overheard by: is this the matrix or a viagra commercial?
Long-haired guitar dude to customer: Sometimes it's because the neck is warped. That can happen if you leave it out in the sun all night.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: realized it 5 minutes later
Girl #1: I use the pull and pray method.
Girl #2: Girl, pull and pray…they never do it. It doesn’t work.
Girl #1: Yes it does! It just doesn’t work ninety percent of the time.
45 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: not dating either of them
American Coworker: Lets do Chinese!
Native Chinese Coworker: I know good p[l]ace!
American Coworker: Real Chinese food from real Chinese cooks?
Native Chinese Coworker: No, cooks all Puerto Rican.
11804 Cherry Grove Drive
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Patent attorney: The US is like the popular kid in high school. Nobody likes ’em, but you have to appease ’em.
1425 K Street, NW
Washington, DC
