Lawyer on phone to client: They're fuckin' you, Dave*. It's a new way of fucking, but they're fucking you.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Lawyer on phone to client: They're fuckin' you, Dave*. It's a new way of fucking, but they're fucking you.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Intern chick #1: You know, it bothers me going into a store to buy condoms. But I am equally troubled by the idea that even when I buy them online, someone has to physically stuff them into a box with the lube I ordered, and then ship it to my address. And they're there in some warehouse, thinking “Susie's getting laid tonight!”
Intern chick #2: You should look into Xanax.
Rochester, New York
Coworker to another: It's not up to you to do the right thing.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: anoyed
Sales guy in restroom: You know, if you really want to have fun take the blue pill now.
Darien, Connecticut
Overheard by: is this the matrix or a viagra commercial?
Long-haired guitar dude to customer: Sometimes it's because the neck is warped. That can happen if you leave it out in the sun all night.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: realized it 5 minutes later
Girl #1: I use the pull and pray method.
Girl #2: Girl, pull and pray…they never do it. It doesn’t work.
Girl #1: Yes it does! It just doesn’t work ninety percent of the time.
45 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: not dating either of them
American Coworker: Lets do Chinese!
Native Chinese Coworker: I know good p[l]ace!
American Coworker: Real Chinese food from real Chinese cooks?
Native Chinese Coworker: No, cooks all Puerto Rican.
11804 Cherry Grove Drive
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Patent attorney: The US is like the popular kid in high school. Nobody likes ’em, but you have to appease ’em.
1425 K Street, NW
Washington, DC
Consultant on phone: You need to set corporate goals. Without goals, you’re like a boat on the water.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Frumious Bandersnatch
VP: I don’t necessarily want you to improve one thing by 100%, but if you improve 100 things by 1% you will still have made 100% improvement. That’s all I ask.
5720 Peachtree Parkway
Norcross, Georgia
