Co-worker #1: You should say this word [unintelligible] next time you have a curry.
Co-worker #2: What does it mean?
Co-worker #1: Just say it, then get ready to run.
Co-worker #2: What language is it?
Co-worker #1: You know what they all speak. Muslim.
Shell Oil
Rig T/O S711
North Sea
Boss: What’s your password? I want to sign in and test the new system we set up.
Office gal: ‘Detonate.’
Boss: [Silence.]Office gal: What? I like typing ‘Detonate’ and hitting ‘Enter’! It’s extremely satisfying!
60 East 42nd Street
New York, New York
E-marketing project manager to group of account services team members: They still took your money. They took your money and they rolled around in it with their balls out.
Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida
Overheard by: Design Goddess
Tech: I am a guacamole of knowledge into which you may dip the nacho of need.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Boss, loudly after ten minutes of silence: Anyone got hot fudge?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: joe marks
Male coworker: Someone just called me “sir.”
Female coworker: What's wrong with that?
Male coworker: It's the same with “ma'am.” Once you are called “sir” you know you have lost all sexual appeal.
13th Street
Manhattan, New York
Cubicle worker with a cold: I've been sucking on Fisherman's Friends all day and it's not helping.
Sedro-Woolley, Washington
Boss to secretary: Where is Linda*? Call her, I need to evaluate her, but…
Secretary: That makes me nervous…
Sylvania, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
Older coworker: My father worked the poles for 45 years.
(blank stares from everyone else)
Older coworker: What? He'd climb the poles all day, and he'd still be doing it now if Bell hadn't offered a real good retirement deal.
Younger coworker: Wait, do you mean by Bell the telephone company?
Older coworker: Yeah, he was a line repairman.
Younger coworker, realizing: Ohhh.
Older coworker: Why are you acting so surprised, what else would I mean?
Barrie
Canadia
Overheard by: Next Room Over
Guy: That’s because you broke it!
Hot blonde: I know, I totally put it in the wrong hole.
Guy: You should be more careful.
Hot blonde: I added more liquid, but I get no smoke.
Guy: Did you make sure to re-insert the thingie?
80 Grasslands Avenue
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
