Crazy new guy: I was reading a book about serial killers by that guy who came up with profiling. It listed traits of a serial killer and I have five of the nine traits. No one around me had better go missing or I'm going down for it.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Thanks for the warning
Cube drone #1: Hey, Mike.
Cube drone #2: Yup?
Cube drone #1: How's it going?
Cube drone #2: Okay.
Cube drone #1: That project coming along okay?
Cube drone #2: Nope.
(silence)
Cube drone #1: You want to talk about it?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kitty
Proofreader: It happens. You talk to each other long enough and eventually you're going to start talking about corpse puppets.
Washington, DC
Attorney, exiting elevator: It's either that or hookers!
Norwalk, Connecticut
Home health nurse: Good morning, Mr Smith*. May I take your blood pressure?
Alzheimer's patient: Well, I don't know! What'll you give me for it?
Buena Park, California
Overheard by: his pastor
Branch manager: Maybe it's a seeing eye goat!
Brownsville, Texas
Elegant lady to another: I don't know… I mean if you do, it really plays havoc with your wiggly bits.
Dublin
Ireland
Supervisor: He hasn't been coming to work because he is an alcoholic.
Coworker: I know what that feels like. Last week I was drinking for a while in my yard and I totally pissed my pants. I had to wash them.
San Diego, California
Coworker #1: Who got chocolate all over the printer?
Coworker #2: You hope it's chocolate.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ewwwwww
