Office bimbette: Did you use your new pen yet? Did you smell it?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Office bimbette: Did you use your new pen yet? Did you smell it?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Admin: You need a haircut.
Service guy: I need to go club some baby seals.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: i just answer the phone…
Employee to another: Oh, now I remember: I bought my first bong and my first Chinese throwing star at that same place.
Point Comfort, Texas
Overheard by: (Not As) White Trash
Cashier, answering phone: Hello, Baker’s Square. [Pause.]Cashier, incredulous: Do we sell pies? [Pause.]Cashier, boastful: We were voted best pies in the world, we entered a contest and won. [Pause.]Cashier, sober: Yes, we sell pies. [Pause.]Cashier, indignant: A barbecue pie? I never heard of such a thing in my entire life. [Pause.]Cashier, impatient: Ma’am, did you have a specific question? I’m pretty busy. [Pause.]Cashier, puzzled: [Hangs up.]
Silicon Valley, California
Overheard by: My Good Ear
Employer: I don't like open packages lying around, it creates bugs.
Employee: That's why I always roll and tape back my nuts.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Nathalie
Department head on phone, talking about screws and fasteners: A Tek 5 should work fine… What? Did you just say “super woody”?
New Braunfels, Texas
Overheard by: That Guy
Coworker on phone: No, no, they want to build a better mousetrap. We want to take the mousetrap, dismantle it, and build an aircraft carrier. It's completely different.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Melissa
Worker bee #1: Hey, have you ever been at your buddies' house and really had to fart, but you didn't want to so you held it in for the longest time, but then you finally had to let it go, and just as you do his mom walks down the stairs?
Worker bee #2: I really have no idea what to say to that.
Worker bee #1: Yeah, it's never happened to me either, though I guess it's only a matter of time.
Lethbridge
Alberta
Canadia
Office worker on phone: She squeezed my ass this time but I did get a kiss…when you've got 250 pounds of Wisconsin looming at ya, your options are limited, all you can do is brace for the impact!
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: Scandalized Receptionist
