Office manager to female employee: I have been told that when you are in the office, the women's bathroom goes though massive amounts of toilet paper.
Female employee: I don't have to talk to you about that, that's bowel harassment!
Louisville, Kentucky
Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!
Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois
Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle
Tech #1: Is that illegal?
Tech #2: No, but it's unethical.
Tech #1: Okay, then let's do it.
Butler, Pennsylvania
Coworker: Their phone number is 800-pfaucet.
Customer: Is that capitalized?
Chico, California
Coworker on phone: Aw, did he poop? (pause) Twice? Nice! (pause) Yeah, no, if it's loose you can't pick it up. (pause) Uh-huh. That's good.
7th Ave
New York City
Overheard by: Had to hold in his own.
Coworker: I asked her to look at the list and give me Sharon's* cell number, but I didn't have a pen so I had to write it in mulch on the sidewalk.
Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania
Boss: Stop communicating!
Underling (sheepishly): Sorry.
New York
Female talking to male co-worker: It was like something out of a V.C. Andrews novel. The one where the brother and sister were locked in the attic and were fucking each other.
Congress Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Frank
