Thursday Meat. Why Do You Ask?

Woman associate returning with lunch from cafe: I'm back.
Male associate: Smells great. What's today?
Woman associate: Thursday.
Male associate: Thank you. What is the special today?

Bellevue, Washington

Posted on May 25, 2010
Coworkers, Sensory Experiences, Time Management, Washington

You Like It Hot and Steamy, Right?

Boss: Don, I'm going to the restroom. Gonna grab some coffee and we'll just do it, okay?

Seattle, Washington

Posted on May 18, 2010
Bosses, Meals and Snacks, Offers and requests, Restroom, Sexuality, Washington

Ooo, the Black Kind?

26-year-old virgin to cubicle neighbor: So, my windshield has been leaking all around the edge, like that rubber seal thing is cracked.
Coworker, loud enough for whole office to hear: You just need some caulk! (pause) Both kinds…

Sea-Tac, Washington

Posted on May 10, 2010
Advice, Coworkers, Cubicles, Sexuality, Washington

Readers, What's the Next Line? Show Your Work.

Employee #1, trying to put flash drive in front USB port: It won't fit.
Employee #2: That's what she said.
Employee #1: Seriously, it's too big!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #3: Well, try it in the back.
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employee #1: It's in!
Employee #2: That's what she said!
Employees #1 & #3: Shut up, Dave*!

Port Orchard, Washington

Posted on April 5, 2010
Advice, Body Parts, Employees, General Idiocy, Sexuality, Technology, Washington

This Year It Was Mostly Switchblades and Liquor.

Office drone: Well, in the past I'd seen him hand out stuffed animals and candy to kids, but this year he didn't do that… from what I saw.

Prosser, Washington

Overheard by: was santa in a windowless van

Posted on March 11, 2010
Animals, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Washington

Q5 Is Better Known As the Empty Quarter

Client: I think we'll need to push this to Q4 or Q5.

Seattle, Washington

Posted on February 23, 2010
Customers, General Idiocy, Science, Washington

While Eating Them, I Pretend to Be a Morbidly Obese Child

Cube dweller: You've never had a Lunchable? They're so fun!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: K

Posted on February 2, 2010
Employees, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Washington

Like Push Them Into the Shape Of a Swan?

Son to mom: Who are the Harlem Globetrotters?
Mom: They're the guys that do tricks with their balls.

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Super Bob

Posted on January 25, 2010
Body Parts, Family members, Parents, Questions, Sports, Washington

So We Weren't Supposed to Show Up Naked?

President: Yeah, we took that picture after we went to that stupid place in New York. Remember that?
CEO: Oh yeah, that place… That sex place!
Marketing coordinator: You mean the Museum of Sex?
President: God, yes! You've been there?
Marketing coordinator: Yeah… It was really kind of cool.
CEO: No, no, no, it was bo-ring. There were all these pictures, and words, and art…
Marketing coordinator: Oh, I see your confusion… That was the museum part.

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Not Surprised

Posted on January 14, 2010
Arts, Bosses, Compare and contrast, Sexuality, Travel, Washington

Don't You Feel All Greasy and Dirty Afterward?

Large Korean who likes burgers: You better bring back In-N-Out. I hate Dick's, but love it when it's In-N-Out. Dick's are so small, they never fill me up, that's why it's always gotta be In-N-Out.

Jet City, Washington

Overheard by: Big Fan of Burgers-

Posted on December 18, 2009
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Dumb Customers, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality, Washington, Words