Washington

Father to son about to eat crayons: No, no, no! Crayons aren't for eating!
Four-year-old boy: But I eat them at school!

Everett, Washington

Overheard by: Hopes their food comes up soon

Worker #1: Did you hear about the industrial accident the other day?
Worker #2: No, what happened?
Worker #1: A cable broke and took out his whole left side!
Worker #2: Oh no!
Worker #1: It's okay, he's all right now.

Marysville, Washington

Overheard by: Noah

Male coworker #1: Well, we played with it enough, it's not hanging out as much.
Male supervisor: Yeah, if you beat on it enough, eventually these things go in.
(uncomfortable silence)
Male supervisor: Do you think I could go see it?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, just make sure you don't pull on it!

Richland, Washington

Overheard by: I think they were talking about a server…

Burly custodial guy, spotting hand lotion in office break room: Oooh, jasmine! (puts some on his hands) The boys are going to be laughing at me today!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: calgon, take me away

Worker #1: Yeah, we're excited to see Scotland.
Worker #2: What's on your list to see in Scotland?
Worker #1: Well I really want to see Stonehenge!
Worker #2: Stonehenge is in England.
Worker #1: Wait…what did you ask?

Redmond, Washington

Office worker: I haven’t heard from him since the last time we talked.

4526 11th Ave NE
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: James eDropper

Coworker #1: You made your own bed, dude.
Coworker #2, pouting: I know! But that's what I do when I'm drunk. I make beds!

Seattle, Washington

Boss: Do you live to give me shit everyday?
Employee: No, but that's a great question!
Boss: Alright, let's just put our cards on the table.
Employee: Can you beat a full house?

Bellevue, Washington

Manager, finishing excruciatingly long presentation: Wow, I just way overblew my load!

Renton, Washington

Co-worker #1: There’s an all-hands meeting today at 11:45.
Co-worker #2: Oh, I’m going to be busy then. Do I have to go?
Co-worker #1: Do you have hands?

4540 Lacey Boulevard SE
Lacey, Washington

Overheard by: Melisa