If They Ever Get out of the Burn Unit

Guy: Why can’t you just have the party at your place?
Girl: ‘Cuz I lost my damage deposit after that one time when that guy caught himself on fire.
Guy: A guy caught himself on fire and you lost your deposit?
Girl: Well, he dropped and rolled on the carpet. Then someone tried to put out the embers with rum, so the carpet caught fire too.
Guy: ….
Girl: Yeah, no more parties at my place cuz I have stupid friends who totally owe me $500 now.

Eastlake
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Nosey

Posted on January 30, 2019
Friends, General Idiocy, Money, Washington

Plus, the Witch Is Always Trying to Trick Us into the Oven

Employee: First they stuff us with pie, then they expect us to work.

South Rainier
Seattle, Washington

Posted on January 9, 2019
Employees, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Time Management, Washington

You Seem to Be Missing My Point Deliberately

Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.

Renton, Washington

Posted on December 29, 2018
Advice, Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene, Internet, Money, Questions, Washington, Writers and Editors

Yeah Well, I Also Said I'd Never Forget My Birth Control.

Worker #1, looking at calendar: Patriot Day? What the hell is Patriot Day?!
Worker #2: Dude, that's September 11th.
Worker #1: Oh, damn.
Worker #3: You said you'd never forget!

Ellensburg, Washington

Posted on November 30, 2018
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Questions, Washington

Last Time I Took One, I Totally Forgot Which Color Socks Go with These Shoes

Female coworker to male coworker: No, I don't want one of your lousy man pills!

Seattle, Washington

Posted on November 8, 2018
Coworkers, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington, Weirdness

And Maybe If I Get a Divorce, I'll Be Twenty Again

Manager to peon: I'm so confused, maybe if I start smoking dope again things will make sense.

Washington

Posted on September 18, 2018
Bosses and Underlings, Feelings, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington, Weirdness

Or an LCD Screen Television?

Confused coworker: So should I look for a baby girl, or another wife?

Dupont, Washington

Overheard by: Richard

Posted on September 16, 2018
Coworkers, Feelings, Questions, Washington

Stop Undressing Me with Your Eyes!

Sexual harassment awareness instructor: Now, class, who can tell me what percentage of sexual harassment is intended?
Class: [Silence.]Sexual harassment awareness instructor: Only 10percent! Ninety percent is unintentional. Now listen, class — most people aren’t doing it intentionally. The majority of people aren’t in that 10 percent group. The majority of people are in that 90 percent group.
Class: [Silence.]

Airdustrial Way
Tumwater, Washington

Overheard by: In the 10% group