Washington DC

Young girl, about new apartment: And I really need a bed.
Older lady: Why? You don't have one?
Young girl: No, I have one, but I want one that's like a grownup bed, but also because sleeping with a 6'6″ guy in a twin bed is silly.
Old lady: I think you doing anything with a 6'6″ guy is probably silly.
Young girl: Well, nothing we do involves standing up, really, so it's not that silly.
Old lady: Oh my god.

Insurance Office
Washington, DC

Office worker #1: She has a degree from Harvard and another from Yale.
Office worker #2: Well, if she's so smart, why is she working for the government?

Pentagon
Washington, DC

Suit: You're working hard and we really appreciate what you do, but this is a clusterfuck.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Caitlin C.

Account manger to designer: Can you sex up those check marks for me?

Washington, DC

Suit: It's got a dead animal on the top, just the way I like it.

L'Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Guess he's not a vegan

Office manager to room full of new hires: I like to reach out and touch everyone. We have lots of different ways to do that.

L'Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC

Sassy receptionist: You are going straight to hell with gasoline drawers!

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Remote office: DC, have you got it up yet?
DC office: We've got it up, now we're trying to make it bigger.

Washington, DC

Assistant copy editor, checking metro fares: A dollar thirty-five and fifteen minutes.
Senior copy editor, passing by: I'm going to have that written on my tombstone!

Dupont Circle
Washington, DC

Office manager: Back in my day, we used to go trick-or-treating with shot glasses.

Navy Yard
Washington, DC