Government employee #1, explaining the organization: Yeah, we do a lot of work with countries in Africa and South America… Countries without functioning democracies…
Government employee #2: But wait — we’ve worked with England and Japan, too. It’s not just the B-list countries.
Government employee #3: Wait, aren’t all countries B-list in relation to the U.S.?
666 11th Street NW
Washington, DC
Little boss to big boss who was late meeting his wife for dinner: Shut it down, boss, or I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig!
Washington, DC
Woman: Now feel this one. Don’t be afraid to show your lady customers the heftier pen. Some women like to have something with a larger diameter in their hand.
Washington, DC
Dog owner: I used to have a Rottweiler too, but he died. They don't have very long lifespans.
Coworker: That's because they are fueled by liquid hate and the fingers of small children.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Female co-worker #1: You do have gonads.
Female co-worker #2: I do?
1800 M Street NW
Washington, DC
Student: I think a couple tweaks will make it better. Don’t worry; you’ll have my evaluation on your desk in a few minutes.
Instructor: I really need it. Should I get on my knees?
Student: Um.
430 South Capitol Street SE
Washington, DC
Guy at conference table: Kimchi gives you stomach cancer.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Worrying about the Korean Peninsula
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, and that’s why I changed my name.
Ghetto girl #2: For real? What was it before?
Ghetto girl #1: I changed it from Te-mika to Ta-mika. Sounds more professional.
Ghetto girl #2: Oooh girl, you know you right.
1300 19th Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: KilThor
Office guy on the phone: Nice. So you sleep in the nude. Not bad for a Republican.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Manager: Your boyfriend looks like a terrorist.
Peon, farting: My butthole is the terrorist in this office.
12th Street NW
Washington, DC
