Paralegal to friendly lawyer: I’m sorry, I can’t shake your hand.
Lawyer: What’s your problem? We just saved the firm hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Paralegal: It has nothing to do with that… I’d help to bankrupt an orphanage if it came to it.
Lawyer: Then why won’t you shake my hand?
Paralegal: Sir, I was in the bathroom when you took a shit after the meeting, and you didn’t wash your hands. That’s just disgusting.
725 12th Street NW
Washington, DC
Woman to boss: So then my friend's brother had to “poop out” the pinworm.
Washington, DC
Lady in office: That's odd…I just got a voice mail from a baby!
Man: When did that happen?
Lady in office: 11 pm last night…what was a baby even doing up at that hour?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: MIke
Agent #1: I am really upset today about something I saw on the History Channel…
Agent #2: Was it about Nazis?
Agent #1: No, it was about the universe. There are theories out there that say the universe will end in about five billion years.
Agent #2: And that upsets you? Why?
Agent #1: Well, if it is all just going to up and end one day, then what’s the point of me doing all this paperwork bullshit?
Agent #2: Oh, I know, it really gets to me too, sometimes.
Washington, DC
Building Engineer: A freon leak won’t kill you. It’ll just asphyxiate you a little.
2100 Second Street, SW
Washington, DC
Proofreader: It happens. You talk to each other long enough and eventually you're going to start talking about corpse puppets.
Washington, DC
Fund raising exec: We keep hearing about these people who die, and we sit around waiting to hear what they’re going to give to us, and it turns out they’ve left all their money to the crippled children!
Non-profit organization
Washington, DC
Female coworker: I think I’m going to go home. I’m not feeling well.
Gay coworker: I hope it’s not contagious.
Female coworker: No. It’s… woman problems. I don’t think you’ll get infected.
Gay coworker: You’d be surprised.
14th Street and Rhode Island Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Suprised
Coworker #1: Hey, did you hear Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter is pregnant? Explain to me how that happened.
Coworker #2 to Coworker #3: Joe*, you want to take care of this for me?
Waterfront
Washington, DC
Coworker: So, when a new client comes in we lock them up in the Olive Garden.
Manager, after a moment: You mean ‘walled garden’?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I am hungry
