Virginia

Guy on cell in handicapped bathroom stall: No, now listen to me. No, you listen to me, man!
(loud, long, echoing fart) Hey, man, listen. How about I call you back? Yeah. Okay.

Richmond, Virginia

Coworker on phone: Hello… Hello… Did you butt-dial me?

Alexandria, Virginia

Intern #1: You know, the ABC Family really is a new kind of family.
Intern #2: What do you mean?
Intern #1: Well it's promoting underage drinking and teen pregnancy. Yay, family!

Richmond, Virginia

Lady #1: How do I go there?
Lady #2: Take a train.
Lady #1: But I'm not sure where it goes.
Lady #2: I think it goes to the train station up there.

Lynchburg, Virginia

Female coworker: I will break you. I will bend you right over this desk.

Alexandria, Virginia

Boss: Do you have any gum? I smell like tuna.
Secretary: Yes?
Boss: Thanks, I don't understand why I smell like tuna, I haven't eaten any today…

Reston, Virginia

IT engineer, about large file to upload: It was big, that's why it took so long to get it up.
IT desktop deck: Hahahaha.
IT manager: I'll leave you two alone.

The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia

Worker #1: We grilled chicken hearts the other night.
Worker #2: Really? Like, how big are they?
Worker #1, gesturing: Not very. We have to make several skewers full because they are so little.
Worker #2: Do you even know how many chickens it takes to get one heart? Poor things!

Virginia

Male coworker #1: Megan* says she's going to Taco Bell for lunch and she hopes nobody is pissed.
Male coworker #2: Why would someone be pissed?
Male coworker #1: Cause she knows that you like some Taco Bell.
Male coworker #2: I do,but I certainly am not in the business of depriving people of Taco Bell.

Lynchburg, Virginia

Office woman #1, listening to police scanner: Why are all those stupid people out in the rain?
Office woman #2: I understand that when it's time to leave work, you want to leave.
Office guy: I would rather drown than spend another hour here at work than I have to.

Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: Underpaid