Coworker #1: Slap chop? Oh, that guy is hilarious!
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah, he went to jail. For getting beaten up by a hooker!
Coworker #1: What? She beat him up, or he beat her up?
Coworker #2: He hit her, and she punched him back in the eye. His mugshot has a big black eye in it.
Coworker #1: See, he should have gotten a daintier hooker.
Coworker #2: Yeah… That's the moral of the story.
Reston, Virginia
IT to admin: If we don't stop probing we are going to get our Cox [internet service] cut off.
Suffolk, Virginia
Boss on phone: I'll tell you what you can do. (pause) You can tell me how to spell “urinalysis.”
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: maggie
Office drone #1: Do you google or do you bing?
Office drone #2: Huh?
Office drone #3: At work he googles; at home he bings.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionitis
Employee, moving into new office holding up jar of green seeds: Is this marijuana?
Vienna, Virginia
Cubicle dweller #1: Hey, what is that?
Cubicle dweller #2: Half and half.
Cubicle dweller #1: I can read the label. What is it?
Richmond, Virginia
Front desk clerk to another, about smoking during second pregnancy: Well, at least with this one, I am not drinking.
Williamsburg, Virginia
Guy on cell in handicapped bathroom stall: No, now listen to me. No, you listen to me, man!
(loud, long, echoing fart) Hey, man, listen. How about I call you back? Yeah. Okay.
Richmond, Virginia
Coworker on phone: Hello… Hello… Did you butt-dial me?
Alexandria, Virginia
Intern #1: You know, the ABC Family really is a new kind of family.
Intern #2: What do you mean?
Intern #1: Well it's promoting underage drinking and teen pregnancy. Yay, family!
Richmond, Virginia
