Customer: Could you bring some crackers for him? (points to toddler)
Waiter: Sure, do you want me to crumble them up and throw them on the floor for him too?
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Customer: Could you bring some crackers for him? (points to toddler)
Waiter: Sure, do you want me to crumble them up and throw them on the floor for him too?
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Field claims manager: Hello? (pause) My cookies taste just fine, thank you!
Brentwood, Tennessee
Jr. Developer: What we need is an alien invasion.
Deveveloper #11: We have one. Mexicans.
Jr. Developer: [sigh] What we need is an extraterrestrial alien invasion.
Developer #2: Boy, you sure have it out for the aliens.
Developer #1: I can’t help it. I’m a xenophobe.
Jr. Developer: The whole world is xenophobic. We need the extraterrestrial invasion in order to unite the globe and to make us stop fighting amongst ourselves.
Developer #1: Until after they left.
Jr. Developer: No, because they came from space, there could always be more of them. As paranoid humans, we have to hunt them down and exterminate them all in order to protect ourselves.
Pause
Jr. Developer: Besides, they might have oil.
501 Corporate Centre Drive
Franklin, Tennessee
Overheard by: Brian
Lady in elevator: Well, I operated on my eye again. I looked in the mirror and saw another big white thing so I got the needle and the lighter. This time it went pop and all the stuff went into my eye. I was thinking: “Now I’ll get staph!”
Century Place
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: delworthio
Co-worker #1: I just got this great book you should read. It’s got
everything you always wanted to know about sex. It’s got pictures and
positions and everything.
Co-worker #2: Books are for amateurs. When it comes to sex I’m a pro.
1215 2nd Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Office girl: But my box is falling apart.
Male co-worker: Hmm, we should look into that. A dysfunctional box is no good for anyone.
Office girl: Right… Would you mind helping me?
Male co-worker: With your box?
Office girl: What are we talking about?
McNally Drive
Nashville, Tennessee
Sales manager: Sometimes I think I’m having a panic attack. And then I realize I just have to poop.
Nashville, Tennessee
Adjuster to claimant driver, attempting to take a recorded statement: Well, I hope you're not going to die anytime soon because I have a lot of important questions I need to ask you.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Overheard by: Missing that page in my training manual
Woman, tugging at coworker's tie: Your thing ain't long enough.
Man: If you keep pulling on it, it'll get longer!
Oak Ridge, Tennessee
Overheard by: Chris
