Next: Toilet Paper, Over or Under?

VP, strolling into cube farm: Toasters or toaster ovens?
Staffer #1: Toasters.
Staffer #2: Toasters.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens!
VP: Toasters, right? We already have a toaster oven.
Staffer #4: Definitely toasters.
Staffer #3: No, toaster ovens!
VP: Wait, I want to hear Alice*'s perspective here.
Staffer #3: Toaster ovens do more and they break less often!
Several other staffers: But toasters are faster!
Staffer #5: Boo!
Staffer #3: Never mind, I withdraw my comments. I'm being booed.
VP: Careful, or you'll get voted off the island!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on June 21, 2011
Executives, New York, Office Politics, Questions, Technology, Weirdness

Polite People Know Never to Ask About a Man's Cylon Cartridge in Mixed Company.

Frazzled manager to administrative assistant: I need a cylon cartridge for my printer. Do you guys have a cylon cartridge?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Baltar's backup plan

Posted on June 2, 2011
Admins, Offers and requests, Technology, Washington

You'll Have Plenty Of Time for That After We Lay You Off

Boss in meeting: You want to hear the CEOs speech, go google it on YouTube.

Wiesbaden
Germany

Overheard by: woken by snickering co-workers

Posted on May 11, 2011
Advice, Bosses, General Idiocy, Germany, Technology

The Lost Episode Of Roseanne

Tan, middle-aged man with a mullet, pointing at printer: When Jackie rubs it, it goes quick!

Maryland

Overheard by: Who is Jackie & why is she rubbing printers?

Posted on April 27, 2011
Employees, Maryland, Technology, Weirdness, Words

It Was V-dubbed Into English

Coworker about his new car: It's not foreign, it's German!

Bellevue, Washington

Posted on April 22, 2011
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Technology, Washington, Words

Raise Your Hand If a Flat TV Set Ever Fell Off Your Wall

Office mate #1: First available jet pack!
Office mate #2: Did you see the video? Looks pretty stable.
Office mate #1: Yeah, I heard they have parachutes that work like airbags.
Office mate #2: Hmmmm…

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Baroo

Posted on April 21, 2011
California and Northwest, Coworkers, Questions, Science and engineering, Technology

There They Go Now, See?

Estimator to engineer: Yeah, but if I put that in the system it'll laugh its tits off at me.

Warrington
England

Overheard by: jon

Posted on April 6, 2011
Body Parts, England, Tech People, Technology, Weirdness

Like a Mac?

CSR: You'll need a computer to do that.
Customer: Like a real computer?
CSR: No, a fake computer.

Niles, Illinois

Posted on March 24, 2011
Advice, Customers, Sales, Technology, Weirdness

Stupid Windows XP.

Coworker #1: There are bugs living in my computer screen. I can see them move when I type.
Coworker #2: You should vacuum them out.
Coworker #3: No! Keep them! I find them extremely interesting.
Coworker #1, pensive: Maybe, if I click them really really hard, they'll go away.

K.U.Leuven
Belgium

Posted on February 16, 2011
Animals, Coworkers, Europe, General Idiocy, Technology

And the Elves Who Assembled It in Their Hollow Factree

Engineer: It's a mini keyboard. I have a computer hooked up to my tv so I can browse the internet and watch p… movies.
Manager, laughing: I heard the “p.”
Salesgirl: Wait, so you lay in bed and play with it?
Manager: Actually, yes, that's exactly what he was saying.
Sales girl: Oh, can I touch it?
Engineer: Only me and the FedEx driver have touched it.

New York, New York

Posted on February 11, 2011
Admins, Engineers, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sales, Technology, Weirdness

Technology