Technology

CSR: Did you look at the fax machine?
Tech: Yes, it’s gorgeous!

203 Floral Vale Boulevard
Yardley, Pennsylvania

IT: My vibrator doesn’t work; I think it’s worn out…On my phone! On my phone! The vibrate function on my phone doesn’t work! Oh, god.

140 Research Boulevard
Madison, Alabama

Overheard by: map ref 41n 93w

Cube #1: Did you know you can type “deferred” with one hand?
Cube #2: Couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: Yeah…but you can type it with one hand.
Cube #2: Yeah…couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: No…I mean, it means you can type it with one hand; the letters are all within one inch of each other. D-e-f-e-r-r-e-d.
Cube #2: Oh!…I definitely spelled that wrong.

One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio

Editor: We don’t have time to review the files. Have the vendors send their files directly to the printer. At this point, we’re approving crap.

8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio

User: My computer won’t turn on.
Tech: The tower is missing. How do you expect to use a computer someone stole?
User: Well, they left the keyboard, mouse and monitor. Is that something?

498 7th Avenue
New York, NY

Tech: You can’t save with Adobe Reader. You have to have Professional to save what you enter in the form.
Sales Assistant: But I have 6.0.
Tech: Yes, but in Reader. You have to have Professional.
Sales Assistant: So I can’t save?
Tech: Right.
Sales Assistant: But I have 6.0.
Tech: That doesn’t matter. You still can’t save the form.
Sales Assistant: But I have 6.0.
Tech: In Reader. You have to have Professional to save the data you enter in the form. Reader won’t let you save changes to a PDF.
Sales Assistant: Okay. But I have 6.0. Why can’t I save with that?

12100 I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas

Office Worker: This file won’t unzip! Unzip, you! Dammit, unzip!
Supervisor: You should try sweet talking it a little bit. Maybe you should buy it dinner first.

105 North Hudson Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Temp: This person gave their email address as being at “hotmail.con”. Should I enter it as “hotmail.com”?
Employee: No, put whatever is on the application.

1776 West Lakes Parkway
West Des Moines, Iowa

CCA: My Excel’s not working.
Manager: I don’t care.
CCA: What should I do if my Excel’s not working and you don’t care?
Manager: Call the Ghostbusters.

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Secretary: Something’s wrong with my computer. I think it’s broken.
IT: Your monitor is off.

201 Forrester Drive
Greenville, South Carolina