IT guy #1: So, Stan* is trying to bring some cohesiveness to our group…
IT guys #2 and #3: [Laughing.]IT guy #1: No, I think it’s working. Because now we’re all like, ‘Fuck you, Stan.’
1135 64th Avenue
SE Calgary
Alberta, Canadia
IT guy #1: So, Stan* is trying to bring some cohesiveness to our group…
IT guys #2 and #3: [Laughing.]IT guy #1: No, I think it’s working. Because now we’re all like, ‘Fuck you, Stan.’
1135 64th Avenue
SE Calgary
Alberta, Canadia
Network Administrator: I’m like a successful pimp. I punch three hos at a time!
859 Cotting Court
Vacaville, California
Manager: Since most of these are not used, let’s go through and upgrade those first, then we’ll see what’s left.
Programmer: If they’re not used, we don’t need to upgrade them, right?
Manager: Right, but we need to figure out which ones are used.
Programmer: Can’t we figure that out by eliminating the ones that aren’t used without upgrading them?
Manager: No, we need to upgrade the obsolete programs first.
580 Walnut Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
General Manager: I have an email problem, I need you to answer a question…Do I have to use all lowercase Ls here? Can’t I use 1s? They look like 1s.
IT: No! You have to use Ls! That is how e-mail works! It’s an address that you have to get right!
General Manager: It’s hard to tell if it is an L or a 1.
IT: Well yes, but from context clues, the email says, “Little Girl.”
General Manager: Well you know what they say about assuming. Makes an ass…you…me.
13601 FM 529 Road
Houston, Texas
IT staff to engineer on phone: If you follow the document I sent you, you will be able to complete the web page.
Engineer: I can't read.
Silicon Valley, California
IT guy: I'm not sure how we can figure out what happened.
IT manager: Well, I guess the only thing you can do is grab the batch.
IT secretary, eavesdropping: I think I got in trouble for that in high school.
IT manager: For what?
IT secretary: For grabbing a batch.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: i'm sure she did
IT person: Usually the email address is just the first initial, then the employee’s last name.
Salesguy: Oh, okay…What’s John Smith’s last name again?
Columbia, South Carolina
Computer tech, trying to remove picture of very well endowed naked man off computer: Well, I don't know how to get him off.
Vermont
Analyst to lackey: I don't think it makes any sense to run around playing “battleship” with analysts' Outlook calendars.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachael
Programmer, in otherwise quiet office: Wait, what? How is that “snickerdoodle” isn't in my phone's T9?
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
