Employee to another who just sprayed hand sanitizer: Gah, you just sprayed your thing and it got in my mouth. (continues eating bag of nuts)
Lawton, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Jonathan
Employee to another who just sprayed hand sanitizer: Gah, you just sprayed your thing and it got in my mouth. (continues eating bag of nuts)
Lawton, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Jonathan
Editor #1: Why would they ding you?
Editor #2: They have to ding. Even if there is nothing wrong, they have to ding. It’s psychological.
Editor #1: I need a beer.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
Smoker: Yeah, but the problem is security. I could give her an injection of morphine, but–
401 Gate Tree Lane
Austin, Texas
Peon: I’ve seen her before at bars, but now she’s just different… She’s more cold now.
Intern: It’s just sobriety. It changes people.
Peon: Good point. Wait, aren’t you, like, 19?
Intern, offended: I’m 20.
F Street
Washington, DC
Frazzled boss: Today has been just awful.
Concerned coworker: I know, hun. (in a hushed tone) Do you want a Xanax?
Frazzled boss: Oh, god, no…thank you…I have my own supply. (in hushed tone) And I've already had several.
New York City, New York
Technician: Man, I gotta go grab a smoke. I’ve been upstairs mixing chemo for hours!
427 Victor Street
Lincolnton, North Carolina
Overheard by: Suzette Truesdell
Male coworker: Why don't you get some prescription sunglasses?
Female coworker: Fuck that! Those are like hundreds of dollars, and that's money I could be spending on food and marijuana!
Atlanta, Georgia
Employee #1: I love Chex Mix so much I'd grind it up, stick it in an IV and mainline it.
Employee #2: I…well… (pauses in thought) You couldn't *freebase* it…
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Lawyer, offering cigarette: Need one?
Non-smoking secretary: I’m gonna need something a lot stronger to deal with you today!
Lawyer, exiting door to smoke: Top, right desk drawer in my office.
Law office
Indiana
Lady #1: I’m very tired. I went out last night.
Lady #2: Oh, did you have a lot to drink?
Lady #1: Of course not, I’m pregnant.
Lady #2: It’s pretty bad to drink when you’re pregnant.
Lady #1: Yeah, it’s so expensive, and you’ve gotta save money to buy baby stuff.
Goulbourn Street
Sydney, Australia
