Office monkey #1: Bro, this job is like motherfucking cocaine!
Office monkey #2: How’s that?
Office monkey #1: It seems fun at first but then it fucks your asshole raw.
1211 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Office monkey #1: Bro, this job is like motherfucking cocaine!
Office monkey #2: How’s that?
Office monkey #1: It seems fun at first but then it fucks your asshole raw.
1211 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Building service: Coffee’s shit, man.
White collar: Yeah. Gotta work, though.
The building service person snorts an imaginary line from the countertop.
Building service: Dat’s da shit you need, man. Coke id up.
1114 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Producer: Sorry I couldn’t make your screening, but as you heard I was
drunk and asleep even by the time your call came around.
12 West 27th Street
New York, NY
Matthew McConaughey’s mother: I wish you were Woody Harrelson. He always has better pot than you.
Patrick McConaughey: I fucking hate you too, mom. [out the window] Hey babe… don’t you know who I am?
Matthew: You people bring me down.
Backseat of the car I was driving
Austin, Texas
20-ish female coworker: I’ve never understood why people do lines of coke off of toilet seats at clubs.
Middle-aged male coworker: Well, it’s not as wet as the sink…
20-ish female coworker: But isn’t that dirty?
Middle-aged male coworker: No one ever poops at a club.
1054 31st Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I prefer a table
Manager: Did you see the game last night?
Coordinator: I was drunk. [Takes bite of Oreo.]Manager: Huh?
Coordinator: Yeah, I’m drunk every day. S’matter of fact, I’m drunk right now!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Staff member: I love baklava. Have you ever had the vegan baklava? It's so good!
Grad student: I don't think I've had vegan anything.
Staff member: I think it's made from hemp or something. I wonder if it's okay to eat it and then come to work.
Grad student: I don't know.
Staff member, pretending to be high: You'd be like, “Woooah! Heeeey!”
Grad student, joining in: Woooooaaaaahhh!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: How do these people make it through college?
Vice-president #1, to vice-president #2: Now all we need is a bong and multiple partners!
37th Street and 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jenn
Office lady, slurring speech while talking to herself: I'm not drunk; I'm just realistic.
Elmsford, New York
Office girl #1: What’s wrong?
Office girl #2, gagging: I was miming committing suicide by glue stick, and I accidentally inhaled.
N Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: The Temp
