Boss: What are you going to do on your lunch break?
Assistant: I think I might go outside and spread my legs.
Boss: Pardon?
Assistant: I said I think I might go outside and stretch my legs. (walks off very quickly)
North Ryde
Australia
Overheard by: Sinead
Woman #1: How was your vacation?
Woman #2: Great!
Woman #3: You look great! Did you have fun?
Woman #2: Lots of sex, no kids, and lots of beach time.
Woman #1: You have sex on vacation?
Bergen, New Jersey
Geek #1: Yeah, I'm pretty good with the chicks these days.
Geek #2: Oh, yeah? How?
Geek #1: I just walk up to them and be like “how you doiiiinn'” and I got them.
Geek #2: Then why are you always with me?
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
Boss to underling: We'll see it harden up when people use it.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Female employee, after answering question: Sorry I couldn't give you a more stimulating answer.
Male boss: That's okay, I'm stimulating myself enough anyway.
(awkward silence)
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: walkingawaygiggling
Worker: I ordered the 7 inch folders.
Boss: We don’t need 7 inches; that’s big.
Worker: 7 inches isn’t big at all, it’s really small.
975 Merriam Avenue
Leominster, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Crystal Geslak
Office lady #1: I guess no one objected to me tossing out their salad.
Office lady #2: Well, Jim did when I tossed his.
Office guy #1: I really hope you guys are talking about a regular salad.
Office lady #2: No, I was talking about his ass.
Office lady #1: What? I don't get it.
University of Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Scatter-brained boss: Oh! Can I touch it?
Subordinate: Um.
Scatter-brained boss: Would you like to touch mine?
Fairfax, Virginia
Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!
Sydney
Australia
Drone: I need to go to the closet.
Supervisor: I'm on my way to the closet right now, I call it first!
Drone: Okay, let me know when you're out of the closet.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Oh Lord its always like this
