Based on My Own Painful Professional Experience

Accountant on phone: And what does he want inserted there? And all the way down to the end? I don't think it will fit.

New York City, New York

Posted on February 25, 2009
Body Parts, Financial Folk, New York, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

They Can Do It While They're Sleeping

Woman #1: I need to get an accountant to do my taxes, but it's just so expensive.
Woman #2: You're single, why don't you just barter with someone in accounting for sex?

Elevator, Broadway & 40th st
New York City, New York

Posted on February 24, 2009
Friends, Money, New York, Questions, Sexuality

The Winning One, at That

Female coworker: I kinda like the idea that I once was a sperm.

Willow Lawn
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Stacy

Posted on February 23, 2009
Age and ageing, Coworkers, Sexuality, Virginia, Weirdness

Thank Goodness I Experience a High Volume Of Patrolmen

Secretary #1: I just read that thong panties are “bacteria highways” from back to front!
Secretary #2: I am highway-free, I think. Maybe some traffic jams, though.
Secretary #1: Huh?

Fairbanks, Alaska

Overheard by: OMG

Posted on February 20, 2009
Admins, Alaska, Clothes, Health & Hygiene, Sexuality

Chorus in Background: “Amo, Amas, Amat…”

Scattered manager to client on speakerphone: Hi Bill, this is Carol. I have Jen and Beth here. We're all conjugating at Jen's desk.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: The Notorious B

Posted on February 17, 2009
Bosses, Customers, Sexuality, Texas, Words

…Before I Get Out My Riding Crop.

Attorney: Don't make any appointments for me this weekend, I'm going to a rodeo.
Minion: Are you in it?
Attorney: Yeah.
Minion: I didn't know you rode.
Attorney: Well, if you put enough hardware on it you can ride anything.
Minion: (laughing)
Attorney: I meant the horse.
Minion: (laughing uncontrollably)
Attorney: Get out of my office!

Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: Does it come with instructions?

Posted on February 17, 2009
Animals, Arkansas, Body Parts, Employees, Lawyers, Questions, Sexuality, Sports

Since the Mailman Moved Away

Editor: So my gynecologist's office just called to say that she retired–a week before my next appointment.
Writer: What? That's weird.
Editor: Yeah. Thanks so much.
Writer: Well, it's only your vagina. No big deal.
Editor: Yeah, nothing much ever happens there anyway.

Augusta, Georgia

Posted on February 16, 2009
Body Parts, Georgia, Health & Hygiene, Sexuality, Writers and Editors

…to Morty's Funeral

CEO: I assume you are perceptive enough to know there will be no strippers on the bus.

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Posted on February 13, 2009
Bosses, New York, Sexuality, Weirdness

It's More Of a Concentrated Spurt Than a Shake, Really

Coworker: Hey, what's that on your pants?
Pocket Hercules: Oh, this? It's just a little protein shake.
Coworker: What?
Pocket Hercules: Wait, that didn't sound right!

Bloomington, Minnesota

Posted on February 13, 2009
Body Parts, Clothes, Coworkers, Minnesota, Questions, Sexuality

I Don't Have the Energy for Another Cucumber Demo Today– Okay, Larry?

Male coworker: Wait! What's that word mean?
Female coworker: What? “Fellatio”?
Male coworker: Yeah, that.
Female coworker: Oh, jeez. It means “oral sex.”
Male coworker: Ohhhh. Hey, Susanna*, can I fellatio you?

Derry, New Hampshire

Overheard by: TacoSlinger

Posted on February 12, 2009
Coworkers, New Hampshire, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sexuality, Words

Sexuality