Don’t Be Hatin’ on the Velveeta

Office worker: At first I thought it was cheese, but that would be optimistic.

Sixth Avenue
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Eyeteeth

Posted on February 4, 2016
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks, New York, Sensory Experiences, Wishes

…The Way My Postman Does.

Receptionist: How was everything today?
Male client: Oh, it was great! The massage was great, though I couldn't understand a word she said.
Receptionist: Well, it's a good thing that she's not massaging you with her mouth!

Day Spa
Manhattan, New York

Posted on January 25, 2016
Body Parts, Customers, Health & Hygiene, Language barrier, New York, Questions, Receptionists, Sensory Experiences

…According to This Memo from Corporate.

New office manager: My rear end makes a god-awful noise!

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Josh

Posted on January 18, 2016
Admins, Body Parts, Gripes, Sensory Experiences, Tennessee

I’m the Spirit of Elizabeth Taylor in the Body of Ellen Pompeo

Thin male college student: I’m hungry all the time. I must be a fatty–that’s the only reasonable explanation, I think.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on January 9, 2016
Default, Diet & Weight, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota, Sensory Experiences, Students

Unless There's a Fire, It's Best Not to Comment on Smells at Work

Cube rat #1: Oh! (inhales deeply) I love that smell! Do you smell it?
Cube rat #2: No. What smell?
Cube rat #1: Skunk! I love the smell of skunk!
Cube rat #2: It is the middle of winter…there aren't any skunks this time of year.
Cube rat #1: You know, you're right. Hmmmm, I wonder…
Cube rat #2: I just farted.
Cube rat #1: Are you kidding me? You mean I have been standing here enjoying your fart?
Cube rat #2: Um… (pause) Yeah, guess so!

Fairbanks, Alaska

Posted on December 26, 2015
Alaska, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Substance Use & Abuse

Mavis Learns That Antifreeze Is Poison

Photo assistant: Okay, put something else in my mouth and I'll tell you what it is.

Culver City, California

Overheard by: LaLa Land

Posted on December 12, 2015
Body Parts, California, Employees, Sensory Experiences

From Home Depot's “Herbs in the Shape Of Former Presidents” Collection

Cubicle lady, about soap: I like the smell of lilac bush.

Westbury, New York

Posted on December 7, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, New York, Sensory Experiences

They'd Be Like, “Points for Initiative…”

Office lackey #1: I need some experience before I apply to pharmacy school.
Office lackey #2: Have you considered a crack den?
Office lackey #1, thoughtfully: I wonder what UIC would think of that. “I interned at a meth lab last summer…”

DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: University Lackey