Store clerk: Hey, that guy you put on line one, was his name Smith*?
CSR #1: Yeah, it was, how'd you know?
Store clerk: Because he's got that “fuck you for helping me” tone of voice.
CSR #2: Who is he?
Store clerk: My mortal enemy.
CSR #1: Well, fuck you very much!
Newton, Massachusetts
Vendor: I don't want to get into some whole “he said, she said” situation.
Client: What are you talking about? There is only a “he said,” and you're the “he,” and you're a dick!
McLean, Virginia
Overheard by: Septimus
CSR, about cleaning off his snow-covered car: I took care of myself at lunch.
Bedford, Massachusetts
CSR: You'll need a computer to do that.
Customer: Like a real computer?
CSR: No, a fake computer.
Niles, Illinois
Sales rep telling another how to take control of his life: Dude, you just gotta bang the chicks you wanna bang, and smoke the smoke you wanna smoke.
American Fork
Utah
CSR #1, listening to “Pretty Woman”: I love this Elvis song.
CSR #2: This isn't an Elvis song!
CSR #1: Yes, it is.
CSR #2: Did you fall on your head?
CSR #1: I tore my mother's placenta.
Scarborough
Canadia
Overheard by: Cnote
Engineer: It's a mini keyboard. I have a computer hooked up to my tv so I can browse the internet and watch p… movies.
Manager, laughing: I heard the “p.”
Salesgirl: Wait, so you lay in bed and play with it?
Manager: Actually, yes, that's exactly what he was saying.
Sales girl: Oh, can I touch it?
Engineer: Only me and the FedEx driver have touched it.
New York, New York
Office slave: Thank you for so much for going above and beyond with this, you are a beautiful person!
Sales guy: Oh, you think so?
Office slave: No, not that kind of beautiful–but thank you for the help.
Colorado
Salesman, about prospective customer: I gotta hook up with this guy. I'm really gonna pound his ass!
Canadia
