Elderly man, yelling at pharmacist: What the hell do I need a 90-day supply for? How do I know I'm going to live for another 90 days? Change this to a 30-day supply. If I need more, I'll come back!
CVS Pharmacy
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Waiter #1: She's depressed and feels bad about herself. That's why she's a headmonster.
Waiter #2: Tell her the best place to find self-esteem is not squirting out the end of a dick.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Retail employee #1: I’m gonna have to leave early today, my friend and I are going to go and get the Wii.
Retail employee #2: Oooh, the weed? I want some!
Stonebriar Mall
Frisco, Texas
Obnoxious server: Ewww, did you just fart, dude?
Timid new guy: Uh, no, I’m sorry.
Obnoxious server: Musta been me. Smells like pot roast, doesn’t it?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Waiter: Did you get laid on vacation?
Busgirl: It was church camp.
Waiter: So “yes” then?
Busgirl (quietly): Yes.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Perverted girl looking at a picture of two ducks mating: I swear, if you saw them going at it, you would have been jealous. He was really giving it to her!
Commercial Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Animal lover has a whole new meaning
(Woman puts groceries on checkstand, including home pregnancy test.)
Male clerk: Man, I have been selling a lot of these lately!
(Woman laughs nervously.)
Male clerk to female clerk, waving test in the air: Haven’t you been selling a lot of these?
Female clerk: Yeah, I have! It must be spring, you know how people get!
(Woman is now horrified.)
Male clerk, handing woman her groceries: Well, good luck either way!
Safeway
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Really? Really?
Manager #1: The new girl is Asian? Ooooh, fucky-sucky, long time!
Manager #2: I’ll have someone else show her around.
Manager #1, as manager #2 leaves office: It’s not harassment if you’re joking!
Circle Center Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Bookseller: That’s “s” as in “sand”, “b” as in “Betty”, “l” as in… “lupus”.
Barnes & Noble
Grapevine, Texas
Overheard by: lupus? really? you went with lupus?
Cashier #1, trying to unlock a drawer at the front desk: I… Can’t… Get… The key… To work.
Cashier #2, who recently found out he got his booty-call pregnant: You have to jiggle it, and then pull it out.
Cashier #1, laughing: Cause that has worked so well for you in the past.
Grocery Store
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Loves It!!
