Female worker: I've been here so long, I can think of a million ways to get back at you.
Male worker: I'll just come in and start throwing water balloons.
Female worker: That's like stabbing, though.
Wall Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Tonic
CSR on phone: They found out my boyfriend is a felon and now they are throwing us out of the trailer park.
Colonial Heights, Virginia
Cube rat to another: How does love taste?
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Store employee on break to another: So I was like, “let's pretend we live on an oil rig and have known each other for the past 15 years!”
Toronto
Canadia
Male coworker to another: I just couldn't pass up the chance to dominate you.
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Platinum
Male coworker: I have a date with a new woman this weekend.
Female coworker: Yeah? What's she like?
Male coworker: Sounds promising. She doesn't smoke. No kids. No pets.
Female coworker: You do realize that your endgame involves being this woman's boyfriend and not her landlord, don't you?
Lakewood, Colorado
Intern to girlfriend: Do you really have to be a slutty fire-lady?
Chigaco, Illinois
(male admin yawns)
Female admin: Nap time?
Male admin: I never sleep.
Female admin: You never sleep? What, do you put toothpicks in your eyes to keep them open?
Male admin: I'm going to write that down, that's a good idea.
Female admin: At least you choose to stay awake, rather than your husband waking you up by coming home at 1:30 in the morning.
Male admin: At least he didn't pee in the bed.
New York City, New York
Professor, to student who changed seats in between classes: It's okay if you sit there from now on, but you've got to be willing to commit. It's like monogomy -once you've made up your mind you've got to stick to your choice!
Loyola University
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: saelo
Sales manager to marketing manager: Isn't it sad when you've spent so much time talking on the phone to customers during the day that you don't want to talk to your wife when you get home?
Marketing manager: No.
Sales manager to recently engaged co-worker: See, this is what you have to look forward to. During the first year you'll argue like crazy, then after that… You won't care anymore.
Tennessee
Overheard by: M&M
